Take Time for Yourself

Happy Self Love Sunday!

I'm reporting from Barrier Lake, one of the most peaceful lakes I've been to. It's so full of positive energy. 
This is your task today: Go out into nature so you can reflect and find the divinity in your heart. 
This is your Soul Love Minute. 
Soul Love Warrior : A Guide to Loving Your Beautiful, Badass Self coming soon! 

Nourish Yourself

Your body, mind, and soul should be treated with the same respect, love, and reverence as any sacred place in the Universe. 

We have been traitors to ourselves, not respecting ourselves, not loving ourselves. We haven't been treating our beautiful selves, our beautiful hearts with the loving care they deserve. 

Nourish yourself not only with good food, but with loving thoughts and emotions. 

PS: Soul Love Warrior Workbook and website coming very soon! 

Why We Need to Awaken the Love Within

I have spoken before about feeling the love within us and why it's so important to open our hearts not only to ourselves but to others. Love really does change things when you can give and receive it freely.

When we block ourselves from love, it can affect every aspect of our lives, which includes experiencing true happiness. But, where does true happiness begin? It begins within. It can never be found externally....well, not on a permanent basis. See previous blog on how happiness is an inside job.

Awakening the love within doesn't just affect our lives but also the lives around us; it affects those beings that need help as well.

So the story goes, if we felt the true love inside of us for ourselves, we wouldn't intentionally hurt another.

Everyday, we see lack of compassion for another being. For example, Cecil the Lion was brutally killed earlier this week due to lack of compassion for another living being. But, the world is not going to hell in a hand basket. There is way more love out there than hate. If we truly opened our eyes, we would see that love is everywhere. 

But, how do you awaken the love within?

• Move beyond the ego and into the heart where love resides. 
• Love yourself because you can't effectively love another unless you love yourself completely. When you feel the love for yourself and recognize your own divinity, you will begin to recognize it in other beings, as well. 

Stay in love, dear friends!

P.S. Check out Prairie Girl Press on Spreadshirt where $1.00 of every product sold will go to help the charity for that quarter. This quarterly's charity is Worldanimalprotection.org. World Animal Protection helps to provide programs to protect beautiful animals like Cecil the lion. 

Are You Letting Love In?

We cannot move through this life unscathed. At one point or another, we will be hurt by a lover that we trusted, which can leave us leery about trying at love again. It can drive us to do things that will keep our hearts hidden, protected, and buried somewhere where no one can find it.

Many would argue what love actually is: Emotion, feeling, a state of mind, a state of being, an action, or, as Allanah Myles sings, 'love is what you want it to be'.  

Here is my take on it: Love, unconditional love, is seeing the other person for who they really are—as pure love themselves, and loving that person because they are already love. There is no ego involved. There is no 'you scratch my back and I scratch yours.' It's an energy exchange that easily flows between two people.

The only time that it doesn't flow easily is when there is resistance by one or both parties. Typically this means that the heart is still being protected and hidden.

Eckhart Tolle says, "What is commonly called "falling in love" is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever." 

Dear Lovely Souls, Loving another requires unlocking the door to your heart so love can flow in. How beautiful it is to be able to experience what it's like to love and be loved. Life is meant to be lived with love. Don't squander it.


PS:
Find love of self, inside and out. Attend Michelle Ponto's Women's Wellness Retreat July 16-19, 2015 in Phoenix, Arizona. Click here for details. 

Reveal Your Heart

"What you are willing to show your partner first, that is where your worth lies." This is a quote by my good friend, Melissa. We had been talking about love and self worth, observing that what we are willing to reveal to another person first is where our self worth lies.

When we feel we are lacking in the worth department, we will reveal to others things that hold very little value; superficial things that really don't show others our true magnificence. We believe that our worth and desirability will be validated if we can show others how worthy we are through our income, our sexual prowess, our education, our over achievement... and the list goes on. While these things have some use to a degree, they aren't what make us worthy or valid.

We've all been hurt and we've all been rejected. It's part of life and it has nothing to do with our worth or who we are. Rejection and hurt is all ego. The ego is consistently looking for someone to validate it because that's what gives it more momentum; that's what keeps ego alive. The ego likes to jump on the couch and yell, "Look at me. Look at me."

When we reveal our heart, when we aren't afraid to open it up so others can see what's inside, that is when our light truly shines. Don't be afraid to love. Don't be afraid to open up your heart and send love out to the world. You must love yourself so deeply that you will not be able to experience the intense pain from rejection or hurt. If the pain of a break up were to happen, the grief would be minuscule.

Let your love flow like an ocean to your own heart; it will overflow and swell to the point where it has no where else to go but out into the Universe. Try this for 30 days. Be mindful about your feelings and consistently send love to your beautiful heart. Then, don't be afraid to reveal that beauty to the world.

Stay true to yourself and own your magnificence!

Want to learn more about loving yourself inside and out? Check out the women's wellness weekend in Arizona July 16-19, 2015. We would love to see you there!

The Depths of Uncertainty (or Seeing the Upside of Shitty Situations)

Right now, we are going through a major shift in the Universe, and many of us might be feeling slightly discombobulated. I know I have.

Maybe you've seen the end of a relationship, a shake up of a job, changes in your life you weren't expecting, or perhaps you've felt that things have been stuck or stagnant for too long and, well, when is it all going to get better?

As you know, I'm a huge fan of the belief that the energy we give out is what we get back and that we create our own lives; however, I do think that we can be affected by energies around us if we aren't aware of what to do and how to settle ourselves.

But, I digress, because this post is about how to get a handle on your own feelings and emotions when faced with those people who wish to sink your cork. You may have encountered that feeling of a 'fragmented soul' when you have a fight with your spouse/significant other that seems to strip you of your energy. You feel as if they have put another dent in your beautiful heart.

As crappy as these moments are, these moments are the best times to figure out what you truly want. You can either take this moment and turn it over in your brain a thousand times, over-analyze about how much it hurt you, or, you can decide that the other person, as idiotic as you think they are in that moment, is most likely just as afraid as you are.

Change is frightening, and to think that your relationship might be on the brink of destruction will make you grab hold of anything to achieve some sort of balance. Your significant other isn't feeling anything different from you. Just like you, they fear losing control of the situation or that things will change too fast for their liking. Maybe they don't like how the relationship is going and where it's headed, and they don't know how to stop this collision course that it's on.

Just like you, they want change, but they may be fearful to make the change. Or maybe they don't know how to make the change. There's always a lot of work involved when trying to make a difference in your life, which could mean changing belief systems, or changing marital statuses. There is no denying it--these relationship shake-ups are huge.

First, you can't control how other people act. You can only control how you feel and how you act. The other person will always do what they are aligned with, no matter how much you try to control the situation.

When faced with shitty situations such as these, you must redirect your focus. No, it's not putting your head in the sand. It's called thinking outside that box that is already full of stress and sadness.
It's time to get a better view of things, because you can't solve a problem with the same thinking that created it.

So, what is it you want for yourself? Happiness? Stability? Better living situation? Love?
Saying things like, "I want her/him to change" is not the answer because a) You will be sadly disappointed when you realize that you can't make anyone change, and b) You have to accept responsibility for your own actions. Every relationship has two sides to the story.

To make deep changes, you have to start with yourself. You have to look at your role in all of this. What have you been attracting? What have you been thinking and feeling? Have you been loving yourself? Have you been kind to yourself? To others?

You have to understand that the love and respect you seek is within yourself.

So, how do you affect change so these shitty things are few and far between? How do you get on the same page with your spouse? Well, first off, you may or may not get on the same page as your spouse because this is all about vibrational alignment. So, to get change, you have to take a good look at yourself and how you treat you. How do you feel about you? How do you feel about the world? What energy are you sending out there?

We are creatures of habit. We may not even be aware of the vibration that we are sending out because it's become a part of us. But, unknown to you, that vibration could be holding you back. When you've become so accustomed to disagreements with your spouse, you have now made it a dominant vibration--a habit. And, it'll keep happening till you change your vibration about it.

Your spouse has to make the effort too....and they have to want to make an effort. Once you start changing your vibration, they will either match up to your new vibe or they will no longer be a part of your life...it's up to them.

When these shitty things happen, they are a wake up call to you. Notice them. Embrace them. Yes, they happened and they were really freaking shitty. You don't like being in that ugly place, and every time it happens, you feel you lose another part of yourself.

But, here's the thing, you can decide in that moment, right then and there, that you don't want to feel this way anymore.

How?

You become aware of what you are thinking and feeling. You become so attuned to your body and emotions, start adjusting those thoughts and feelings, that change starts to happen.

It will take effort, it will take some creative thinking, and it will take time.
But, dear beautiful friends, your happiness is worth the effort.

Namaste.

Owning Your Bullshit Story

I love this quote by Elizabeth Gilbert so much that I had to do a blog post on it. It resonates deeply to how we tend to get caught up in our own bullshit story... and it usually is all bullshit.

We love to tell the story of what happened to us, why we can’t do things, how we can’t get ahead, or can’t get better. Maybe you are in a relationship out of convenience, wearing the mask that everything is awesome, but really it isn't and you've created nothing but smoke and mirrors.

We say things like ‘life is a struggle’, ‘my life is crappy’, ‘my relationship sucks’, 'I don't really need to love deeply,' or 'I can stick it out in this mediocre relationship for the next 20, 30, 40 years', or something similar.

On top of all that, we usually blame someone else for our problems. If only that person could be better, do better, act better, then things would be perfect. Unfortunately, you can’t control how others act, but you can control how you react.

As hard as this is to swallow, we are in charge of every aspect of our own lives. Unfortunately, many of us feel unworthy, undeserving, or incapable of creating what we want because we don’t believe we have the power to make our lives better. 

What it comes down to is this: If your relationship sucks, then do something about it. If the other person doesn’t want to make it work, then shut that door and allow another door to open. Another door will always open...if you want it to.

You cannot go through life wishing things to be different when you already have been given the power to make things different. Don’t relinquish control to someone else because no one else is in control of your happiness but you. If you are unhappy, then decide to make yourself happy. If it means moving forward and leaving others behind, then so be it.

Some of you might say, “Easier said than done” or “Ya, but it’s difficult.”

It may be difficult but it’s not impossible. You will always have to put effort into something that is important....especially when it comes to your happiness. 

Ask yourself these questions:

Where is my focus?

Am I focused on the bullshit story I’ve been telling myself for a very long time?

Am I focused on making my life the way I want it?

Abraham Hicks says not to think about something as a future thought, that it ‘will ‘ happen, but ‘become’ what you want in this moment. What does this mean? It means if you want love, feel that love right now. Become it, because the energy you send out is what you attract back to you.

Dear beautiful friends, do not fight for your limitations, because nothing is impossible.   

Namaste.

PS. Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Find out how: www.prairiegirlpress.spreadshirt.ca 

Standing at the Threshold

As the holiday season approaches, most of us become more reflective about our lives, taking the time to slow down and determine what we truly want.

The other night while watching Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol, I realized something with regards to what the ghost Jacob Marley said to Ebeneezer Scrooge: "I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it.”

Now, I don't believe we carry these things into the afterlife only because we return to pure positive energy when we do croak; however, I believe we carry these chains right now, and we add to the link the more we carry anger, resentment, regret, fear, and unhappiness. And it's always our choice to carry it or not. 
The good news is we are not alone. Most of us carry these chains because we have lost touch with who we truly are. We choose to bind ourselves with negativity, making it a form of protection, and not realizing that this is what is strangling us. The sad thing is, we are doing it to ourselves.  
Eckhart Tolle would say that these chains are ego-based. We hold onto these negative emotions for numerous reasons, including to feel in control, or feel we need to struggle or suffer to get to the good stuff. Maybe we feel holding onto these things will make us more aware. It won't hurt as much if we are already prepared, right? 

How can we let go when someone has hurt us, especially since we are angry with ourselves for allowing it? We can't move on because we are so busy looking back at what happened. We become paralyzed in our own negative emotion. 

Firstly, it's time to be honest with yourself: Are these negative emotions serving you? Maybe in the beginning you felt that they offered something to you for a short period of time. But, right now, in this moment, do you feel they serve you? No. They aren't. They are binding you, just like they did to Jacob Marley. You can't control other's actions, you can only control your own actions and reactions. 

When you come to this realization, that's when you start to feel the chains dropping away. 

The second thing to do is, when you feel like you are ready to react to a situation, which is all ego, send love to that person. Immaculee Ilibagiza, author of Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust, said that when she came face to face with Hutu tribe members who were killing all Tutsi tribe members, she envisioned sending love to them, and discovered that they backed down, letting her pass to safety. If Immaculee can send love to people who had killed the majority of her family and friends, you can send love to someone you feel has wronged you. 

Dear friends, we are standing at the threshold of a new year. It's time to let go of the chains that bind you. 

Namaste.

The False Self

You may have heard the saying that we can't define ourselves by our past because we aren't that person anymore.

Unfortunately, we love to be labelled by past situations and events as if they are the things that give us our identity. We hold onto them so tightly, believing that we will become nothing if we lose this part of ourselves. This is our false self. This is the ego that puts on a mask and prances around pretending to be us, only for us to discover much later that the ego could never be who we truly are.

Cynthia Bourgeault said, “Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develops a false self: a set of protective behaviours driven at root by a sense of need and lack. The essence of the false self is driven, addictive energy, consisting of tremendous emotional investment in compensatory "emotional programs for happiness," as Keating calls them."

The ego loves to hold onto outworn beliefs because it feels the need to be validated. There is a fear of letting go of our past because we do not want to lose ourselves in the process lest we disappear into oblivion. We have become so comfortably acquainted to that part of ourselves that, even though it no longer works for us, we accept it as who we are, arguing that 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks.'

When we start to experience ourselves by what we want to be, how we want to act, who we want to be, rather than by the false self created by the ego, then that is when things begin to shift.

If we continue to define our lives by our situations, life events, and illnesses, then we will continue to have the same experiences, and change will not come.

Dr. Joe Dispenza says the ego is useful for things like determining fight or flight, and for measuring safety or danger. When the ego starts holding you back, making you feel rotten about yourself, then you have a serious problem on your hands.

Marianne Williamson said, "We are either walking toward love or we are walking toward fear." Which one are you walking toward? Are you fearful all of the time? Then you are letting ego have its way with you. Don't let the ego hold you hostage. Love is the only thing that is real.

Dear beautiful souls, reach for something better because you ARE already something better.

Namaste.

PS: Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Discover how at Prairiegirlpress.spreadshirt.ca .

You Can't Put Whipped Cream on Top of Crap....

Most of us can attest to being in a relationship where things aren't going so well; where things seem to be crumbling all around us. 

You are lost and don't know what to do as you desperately try to put the pieces back together; trying to hold everything up with tape or glue, or whatever adhesive you have on hand, while you make only surface adjustments. 

Basically, you are putting whipped cream on top of crap and calling it a sundae, even though it'll still taste like crap. 

A relationship built on a rocky foundation is like being lost at sea, floating in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. The boat springs a leak, and you put one finger in the hole to stop the water from flowing in, only to discover another hole has appeared. You can continue to do this if you like, but it's not going to give you a long term solution. The boat will eventually sink.

So, what is the answer to building a strong foundation from day one of your relationship?

Apply the following (to yourself and to your lover): 

• Love
• Respect
• Trust
• Integrity
• Appreciation
• Loyalty
• Friendship

This is a reciprocal thing based on giving and receiving from both parties. If there is no flow of the above, if the above does not exist, then the foundation will crumble. 

How to build a weak foundation: 

• Base the relationship solely on physical attraction or sex.
• Base the relationship on superficial/material things (like what they do for a living, money, where they live, what they drive, or the type of connections they can provide) 
• Do not love yourself enough first.
• Have very little in common with the other person. 
• Begin a relationship because you are lonely.
• Do not deal with your insecurities first.
• You are looking for validation of your worth and lovability.

Enter into a new relationship with confidence, security, love, and appreciation for yourself first, because when you are able to give these key ingredients to yourself, you will be able to give them to another. However, if you are not receiving these things in return, then the relationship is not worth the effort. Love yourself enough to know this and to move on. 

Remember, you are worth the best that the world has to offer!

Much love to you! 

Namaste. 

Authenticity - Part 2

This "Living Authentically" thing has been on my mind all week (see my previous blog post on Your Authentic Self). The conclusion that I came to was that: I'm not living authentically... and most people aren't.  

After I heard Alanis Morissette talk on Super Soul Sunday, it had me thinking lots about who I am. Truly.

She spoke about getting past the lies to the place where there is only truth. These lies that we tell ourselves usually come in the form of:

I'm not worthy.

I'm not valuable. 

My work is not valuable. 

I have nothing to offer. 

I'm not good enough. 

We wear a mask so others don't see what is really going on; not being straight forward with ourselves. Perhaps we are doing things that don't resonate with who we are, but do them to please others, save face, and to keep the facade going. When really, we are crumbling inside. 

When I speak of the authentic self, I'm not talking about the personality, or how we 'always' are when around others.

That is not the authentic self. Those things have to do with behaviours and beliefs that were instilled in us. That is your ego. That's the stuff we identify ourselves with, but are not who we really are. 

For me, it was a moment of realization: I'm not being authentic to me. I'm not doing those things that I resonate with. I'm not being true to who I am. I am not being true to where I want to go in this life experience. I'm not being authentic with others. I do things to make other people feel better at the cost of myself feeling worse. 

This happens in love relationships too: we adjust our behaviour to impress or accommodate. We lose ourselves. We tell ourselves that our needs do not need to be met. Our opinions aren't as important. Our time is not important. Our dreams are not important. 

We stop trusting our own guidance. We stop believing in our self worth. We stop believing in our own abilities.  We stop believing that we are this amazing being that can create worlds.

Have you been living authentically?

What lies have you told yourself? 

Keep shining, Beautiful Souls. 

Tender Loving Care

There is a saying by LaShaun Middlebrooks Collier that says, "Self-care is possessing enough self-awareness to invoke repeated patterns of being, that harmoniously correct the behaviours of over-functioning for others while under-functioning for yourself.” 

We all do it. We give so much to others that we haven't anything left to give to ourselves. We put other's needs before our own, while starving ourselves of some much needed attention and care. 

This was an experience of mine last week where I had been available for everyone else but myself, which resulted in a melt-down. Feeling robbed of energy and not following through with some self-love, I became unable to function properly. There were things I had to do that seemed like a ton of effort; fortunately, I was able to push through because it had to be done. 

How many times have you given so much of yourself, in any relationship, and were not taking care of you because you felt your needs were secondary? I'm sure there are too many to count. 

We can also get stuck in the old "If I love this person a ton, they will eventually love me just as much." And then we set about the task of giving ourselves to that other person by either doing everything for them, or by loving them more than we love ourselves.

While it's true giving of ourselves is noble, there's a point where we have to remember to give to ourselves as well. It's a balancing act, but an important one. As demonstrated in my own melt-down, I wasn't giving myself the time and care I needed, and, therefore, was unable to give of myself to others.

How can you care for yourself?
First, realize that giving to yourself is important and not selfish.
Second, carve out time for yourself. If you have children, animals, or elderly parents to care for, then, yes, they need attention. That is a given. But, make sure you are finding the time for you to do what is important for your heart, your soul, and your mind. Only you know what that thing is and only you know the amount of time you can spend.
Third, make the commitment and stick to it. You are important. Your needs are important. What makes your heart sing is also important. But, one of the most important things of all is knowing who you are, and loving yourself fully.

Namaste, beautiful souls!

Healing Your Heart

The ending of a relationship is, quite possibly, one of the crappiest things to experience. All of that time and emotion and effort put into the relationship to make it tick.... done... like yesterday's dinner. We give all of our heart and soul, and strip ourselves bare, fully opening up to the other person, hoping and trusting that they will do the same.

We create this connection with this special person with high hopes that it will last a lifetime....but it doesn't.
No wonder we have a tough time moving on!

So, what can the broken-hearted do to heal their beautiful heart?

• First off, know that the pain is not going to go away instantaneously. It's going to take time to heal. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the love you need. We don't always give ourselves the love and affection that we need to mend our hearts. Be mindful that this is an important step in healing.  
• Understand that, because the relationship ended, it does not mean you are a failure. We are all constantly growing and evolving, and sometimes we grow apart from each other. It's part of life.
•  Take these relationship experiences to help you understand what you truly want in the next relationship. The more you know what you don't want, the more you know what you do want. 
• It's okay to mourn the end of the relationship. Sometimes we feel that it’s ‘wrong’ to cry over someone, especially if they have been unkind to us. Understand that you are making a major change in your life. Take the time to honour yourself, and give yourself credit for making a decision to make a change for the better.
• Talk to people who will support you and give you the space you need. Do not be around others who will try to undermine your decision. You are making this decision for a reason, and only you can make that decision. 
• Find the right transition period to move from healing to moving forward. Sometimes, we get so stuck in the sadness that we hang out there for longer than we should. Although, you are the only one who knows what you need, please be honest with yourself. Are you doing everything possible to heal, or are you lingering in the past? There is a large, limitless world waiting for you to discover.
• Finally, meditate.  Meditation can bring clarity, peace, and healing into every area of your life. Check out this Ted Talk on meditation. 

Namaste.