Wild Horses Couldn't Drag Me Away.....

Lately, I've been thinking about 'potential relationships': the relationships that look like they have the possibility of being something, but become nothing.

Or, the relationships where we are sure that the other person is into us, but nothing transpires. Then, that becomes the start of billions of questions of wondering if that person really did like us in the first place.

As you can imagine, this is very frustrating.... with a 95% chance of a person's head exploding from the continued thoughts and analyses.

The feedback we are getting from our love interest is all very...well, wishy-washy. Plus, it doesn't give us much satisfaction if we have to guess all the time about someone's affections. Abraham-Hicks has a excellent analogy stating that, when you are aligned to that other person (and vice versa), wild horses couldn't keep you, or them, away. View the video here: Wild Horses

So, my questions is: Would you prefer to have someone who adores you and you adore them?

Or, would you rather try to convince someone, who is only half-interested in you, that you are worthy enough to be adored?

This goes back to my previous blog post Your Brilliant Light and how we tend to settle because we feel inadequate and not good enough for something better. 

Perhaps, we settle for less because we are afraid of change; afraid of searching for something more.  C. Joybell C says this quite eloquently: 

“We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.” 

Wait for the Wild Horses. 

Namaste.

Sticking Around... When It's Time to Let Go

We’ve all been there... hey, maybe you're there right now. You know what I mean...in a relationship that isn’t working. Maybe you are waiting around for that person to decide if they want to be in a relationship with you, or maybe you are waiting for something to change. Or, perhaps, you are waiting for the other person to change, or some divine intervention to show you what to do, to make the decision for you.

When a relationship is on its way out; when it’s reached its expiration date; when it’s time to pack it in, we can feel it. We know it.

But, we usually aren't honest with ourselves enough to take the next step.

Why? Well, what if we are wrong? What if we can’t find someone else? What if things change tomorrow? What if the other person comes to the realization that they can’t live without us? And what about all that work, work, work of rebuilding our lives without that person? It's exhausting!

Rather than being true to ourselves and what our emotions are telling us, we stick around because it validates our level of lovability and desirability. Maybe we think we’ve found 'The One' because we feel a deep connection with them, even though we aren't getting the type of relationship that we want from them.

The relationship is unsatisfying, and you know you've been trying really hard to make it work. Unfortunately, it becomes more of a struggle while performing an in-depth analysis with your friends (over a bottle of wine) about what the other person has done or said. 

Now what? It hurts to leave and it hurts to stay.

In the blatantly honest words of a friend of mine: “If he isn’t all over your beautiful ass and begging for more of you, he isn’t worthy.”

The person in your life, or the person you want in your life, should want to be with you. It's that simple.

They should want to check on you to see how you are doing. There should be effort involved. If you are the one doing all the connecting, and you are unsatisfied with the progress of things (and you really want them to be all over your beautiful ass and they aren't), then it’s time to move on.

There is someone else out there that will be everything you are looking for and more. 

Namaste, beautiful souls!

Healing Your Heart

The ending of a relationship is, quite possibly, one of the crappiest things to experience. All of that time and emotion and effort put into the relationship to make it tick.... done... like yesterday's dinner. We give all of our heart and soul, and strip ourselves bare, fully opening up to the other person, hoping and trusting that they will do the same.

We create this connection with this special person with high hopes that it will last a lifetime....but it doesn't.
No wonder we have a tough time moving on!

So, what can the broken-hearted do to heal their beautiful heart?

• First off, know that the pain is not going to go away instantaneously. It's going to take time to heal. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the love you need. We don't always give ourselves the love and affection that we need to mend our hearts. Be mindful that this is an important step in healing.  
• Understand that, because the relationship ended, it does not mean you are a failure. We are all constantly growing and evolving, and sometimes we grow apart from each other. It's part of life.
•  Take these relationship experiences to help you understand what you truly want in the next relationship. The more you know what you don't want, the more you know what you do want. 
• It's okay to mourn the end of the relationship. Sometimes we feel that it’s ‘wrong’ to cry over someone, especially if they have been unkind to us. Understand that you are making a major change in your life. Take the time to honour yourself, and give yourself credit for making a decision to make a change for the better.
• Talk to people who will support you and give you the space you need. Do not be around others who will try to undermine your decision. You are making this decision for a reason, and only you can make that decision. 
• Find the right transition period to move from healing to moving forward. Sometimes, we get so stuck in the sadness that we hang out there for longer than we should. Although, you are the only one who knows what you need, please be honest with yourself. Are you doing everything possible to heal, or are you lingering in the past? There is a large, limitless world waiting for you to discover.
• Finally, meditate.  Meditation can bring clarity, peace, and healing into every area of your life. Check out this Ted Talk on meditation. 

Namaste.