Real Change

You might be saying, "Wait. I'm not addicted to my emotions. That's crazy." 

Here's the thing: If rehearsed over and over again, our emotions become ingrained within us and then become a part of who we are. We begin to identify ourselves with these emotions. 

When we try to change, our bodies kick and scream because it's not getting its way. Your body is actually wanting that chemical rush that it expects when you feel anxiety, sadness, frustration, anger, etc. It's used to it, and it wants it right now!

And, because you don't like this feeling, and because you don't like the unknown of the new feeling, you give into those old emotions to settle it down. The cycle then continues.
You can't get off of this merry-go-round until you deliberately choose to. No matter how much kicking and screaming is going on in your internal world, you will need to consciously steer yourself back to your focus, and tell yourself you are making changes that will make you better for it. 

It's like keeping a child focused on a task. When their attention veers to something else, you bring them right back to the task. This is retraining yourself to think and feel differently. This is where true change begins. 

PS: Want to go deeper? Soul Love Warrior workbook and website coming soon! I promise! 

www.soullovewarrior.com
www.tamarahanson.ca

Preparing for Love

Getting yourself ready for love is like preparing yourself for any major life event. Think about it: love is a big deal, and if you aren't prepared for it properly, it could end badly. This isn't to say that, once you prepare for love, the relationship will be everlasting. Nothing is guaranteed, things happen, and people grow apart. However, you want to make sure you prepare for love so you are attracting what you want.

There are many ways that we can prepare for love. For instance, buy something nice to wear on a first date, or declutter the bedroom to make it more conducive to romance and welcoming a lover.

While doing the outside preparation is a requirement, the inside preparation is more important. To prepare for love, we have to go deep within ourselves.

Feeling extremely insecure about yourself will not attract the appropriate partner into your life. You may say you want a person with certain types of qualities and characteristics, but, for some reason, you always seem to attract the opposite (see previous blog post on why you attract the same types of relationships).

This is where you take a good look at yourself. What is it that you need to improve about you? One thing that most of us do not do is fully love and respect ourselves. Loving and respecting yourself should be number one on your list. How do you love and respect yourself? Are you honouring who you are? Are you honouring your own feelings? Are you staying true to who you are?

Have you let go of the past or are you holding on? Anger and resentment are two things that we easily can bring into our new relationship. If we've been hurt in the past, and haven't effectively dealt with the pain, we can bring that garbage into our new shiny relationship. Is that really fair to the other person?  Is it fair to you?

You would expect the person you have a relationship with to honour and treasure your beautiful heart. But, that can't really happen if you don't honour and treasure it yourself. If you expect someone to do it for you, you may be disappointed if they don't follow through. Start by taking care of your own heart. When you do, someone will come into your life who will help you treasure it.

Dear lovely souls, Valentine's Day is around the corner. Make a promise to yourself to give yourself the loving care that you need. Do the work necessary for you to truly love you. You will not be disappointed. 

Your Inner Being

Your inner being always knows.

It knows when something isn't right. It knows when a change needs to be made. It knows when you are longing for more, and it knows that you deserve more.

It knows your deepest wishes and it knows you can have them if you are willing to receive them.

Your inner being can always be trusted because it is certain. You can feel it. It feels like knowing. It feels unwavering. If feels stable and secure.

The only time it wavers is when you doubt the feeling; when you doubt that knowing.

"Inner silence promotes clarity of mind. It makes us value the inner world; It trains us to go inside to the source of peace and inspiration when we are faced with problems and challenges."

~ Deepak Chopra

Get in touch with your inner being by getting quiet. Meditate. Get rid of the excess noise and chit-chat in your mind, and get to the place where you can ignore ego.
If you aren't quiet within, if you cannot find peace, you are still in a place of ego.  You want to go to that place where peace, love and knowingness reside. That is the place of your inner being.

Listen to the deep inner awareness of yourself, Beautiful Souls. That is where the good stuff is.

Namaste!

You Are Love

Dear Beautiful Souls,

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering how I can impress upon you how amazingly beautiful you are!
Truly, take a look at your fantastic selves!
If you can't see it, then you aren't looking deep enough.

You have come this far and learned so much about life and love. You have made it through times of contrast and adversity, and still, here you are, standing strong and stable on your own two feet.

If you are still beating yourself up because of the past, then stop...it's done. The past only has power if you give it power.

You went through those difficult times to help you grow. Be proud of yourself and how far you have come! It's an amazing thing when we can look back and say, "Ya, that happened, and I know so much more now. I have become better because of it."

Realize that every single day you become better and better; it's all part of this lovely journey that you are on.
Let the path unfold before you in brilliant and luminescent colours of your choice. It always has been your choice. You get to decide if you want to reach for a higher place, or stay staring at what is. Because you are here right now means you want so much more; to reach for better than what you've had.

Are you ready to take the next step and unravel another layer of your beautiful self? Start pulling back the veil and watch what happens. Go deep inside your heart and discover what is lying there waiting for you to awaken it. When you do, the fire within you will grow so brightly that nothing can shake you.

Remember, it's not what you do, how much you have, or where you have been that determines who you are; it's how much you are able to love yourself and love others.

You are, and always have been, full of love.

You are love.

Namaste!

Wild Horses Couldn't Drag Me Away.....

Lately, I've been thinking about 'potential relationships': the relationships that look like they have the possibility of being something, but become nothing.

Or, the relationships where we are sure that the other person is into us, but nothing transpires. Then, that becomes the start of billions of questions of wondering if that person really did like us in the first place.

As you can imagine, this is very frustrating.... with a 95% chance of a person's head exploding from the continued thoughts and analyses.

The feedback we are getting from our love interest is all very...well, wishy-washy. Plus, it doesn't give us much satisfaction if we have to guess all the time about someone's affections. Abraham-Hicks has a excellent analogy stating that, when you are aligned to that other person (and vice versa), wild horses couldn't keep you, or them, away. View the video here: Wild Horses

So, my questions is: Would you prefer to have someone who adores you and you adore them?

Or, would you rather try to convince someone, who is only half-interested in you, that you are worthy enough to be adored?

This goes back to my previous blog post Your Brilliant Light and how we tend to settle because we feel inadequate and not good enough for something better. 

Perhaps, we settle for less because we are afraid of change; afraid of searching for something more.  C. Joybell C says this quite eloquently: 

“We can't be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.” 

Wait for the Wild Horses. 

Namaste.