Take Time for Yourself

Happy Self Love Sunday!

I'm reporting from Barrier Lake, one of the most peaceful lakes I've been to. It's so full of positive energy. 
This is your task today: Go out into nature so you can reflect and find the divinity in your heart. 
This is your Soul Love Minute. 
Soul Love Warrior : A Guide to Loving Your Beautiful, Badass Self coming soon! 

Releasing Old Emotions

Happy Self Love Sunday!

Have you seen the movie Poltergeist? Well....it's now become an analogy in today's video.
How deep have you buried those old emotions that you choose to ignore?

If not released, old emotions will come back to haunt you and create chaos in your life.
Releasing the old energy frees up energy for something new.
This is your Soul Love Minute.
PS: Soul Love Warrior workbook and courses coming soon. Get your love on!

Www.soullovewarrior.com
Www.tamarahanson.ca

Rebuilding the Relationship with Yourself

If you’re like me, you more than likely have given all of yourself in a loving relationship--working hard at compromising and understanding one another; making it work on the days where you just don’t seem to be getting along. Giving of yourself to a point where you are spent and have nothing left to give anymore. 

And, while they say that working at a relationship is key to a long lasting happily ever after, I say that there are other factors involved: one is alignment and the second is making sure that your needs are being taken care of.

Sometimes, we give so much of ourselves that we lose ourselves in the process. We become someone else for someone else. We do everything for another person leaving very little to give to us. This depletion leaves us tired, resentful and angry.

The key is to rebuild (and maintain) the relationship with yourself. You are an integral component to your loving relationship. You will be with yourself for the rest of your life, and need to dedicate yourself to you as well. How do you dedicate yourself to yourself? 

1)      Find out what makes you happy and make a promise to do those things.

2)    Do loving things for yourself. 

3)    Do something that will take care of you. 

4)    Talk to yourself as if you were talking to someone you absolutely loved. 

5)    Do these things on a consistent basis.

While we always wish the other person in our relationship would change, the fact is we

can't make anyone change, we can only change ourselves. 

The only relationship that really matters is the relationship between you and You: The

relationship with yourself. When you are more loving toward yourself, more respectful,

more dedicated, choosing that your happiness is key and only you can make you

happy, then your relationships will reflect this for you. Honour who you are and what you

are made of because you are important and you are worth it. 

Stay true to yourselves, lovely friends. 

PS: Want to find out how you can love yourself even more? Join me and Michelle Ponto for a Women's Wellness Weekend in July. Click here for details.

Love, Death, and Moving On

Nothing is more poignant than the moment in the movie “PS I Love You" where Holly is coming to terms with the death of her husband, Gerry.

She says, “And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then he died! What was the point? I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean, you're alone, no matter what.”

If you’ve lost your love, this quote will most likely resonate with you. Finding someone who connects with you on every level, who brings to the relationship something deep and beautiful, and then passes away may have you wondering what was the point.

Anger. Frustration. Confusion. Disappointment. Rejection. Fear. Heartache.These are all the emotions you can expect to feel, and there seems to be nothing that can make you feel better. That hole in your heart stays where it is, throbbing.

While it's true that you feel as if you won't ever feel normal again, or that you will never be able to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and carry on, I'm here to say that it will happen.

However, to do this, the action begins with you. Everyday is a new day. Everyday begins fresh. The pain in your heart will slowly, but surely, subside. Everyday, you take gentle steps to move forward, because that is what your loved one would have wanted. Everyday, you learn something new, grow in your awareness, and heal a little bit more. 

The steps you take don't have to be big ones; they can be small steps that might not look like much, but they are huge when you lump them all together. 

This transitional time is where you take care of you. You give yourself the love you need. This is the time where you wrap your arms around yourself and tell yourself it's okay to grieve. It's okay to feel crappy when you want to. Give yourself permission because you are the one in control of your emotions. 

Just don't live there. Don't hold yourself in that place of not moving forward; it won't do you any good and it won't bring back your loved one. We can try to hold ourselves in limbo, but this will never move us forward, nor will it allow us to live our lives to the fullest. 

C.S. Lewis said, “There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind.” Moving forward doesn't mean forgetting your loved one. They will always be with you. Whatever your belief is, they are always beside you, in your heart and mind. They are always be a part of you. Take comfort in knowing that this time will pass. Take comfort in knowing that the universe wants to continue to fill your life with amazing and wonderful experiences, but only if you are open to them. 

Take care of your beautiful heart!

Why I'm Not Afraid to Love Again: A Valentine's Day Story

It's Valentine's Day and also the third anniversary since my beloved passed away. Please, don’t feel sorry for me. 

Yes, his death crushed me and there was a time when I wondered how I would be able to ever move forward. I wasn't sure if the pain would ever move out of my heart or if I would ever feel normal again. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to the point of moving on or living fully. 

But I have. With one foot in front of the other, I have. 

Sometimes, we can’t understand why someone has to leave us. That's the thing about death: we can never ask the person who has died why they had to go. We can’t ask them that, if things were done differently, maybe they would still be here. We can't keep wondering if only we could turn back the hands of time and do something different, maybe this wouldn't have happened. We also can’t continue to beat ourselves up with questions of ‘what if’.

The point is, they have chosen that path. Whether consciously or subconsciously, it was all up to them. And we have to honour their choice. As much as it hurts, as much as we feel left behind, them leaving has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them wanting to move on. We have to respect that.

Do I still have questions? Definitely. But, I never regret my time spent with him. I never feel like I’ve been handed a bad deal. I loved him with all my heart, and still do. What he gave to me has given me the strength to carry on. 

Do I have bad days? Yes, of course. It’s human to have these feelings. 
But, then I think about the love he gave. What a lovely gift I was given! He showed me what deep and beautiful love is. This is something I will treasure forever!

I’m not afraid to love again. This amazing love that we had was full of respect and kindness, and was a true gift... and I want that again. This is one of the reasons why I won't settle. 

When you feel like you can’t move on; when you feel like you have been hurt too much and wonder how it's possible to love again; when you wonder if it's possible if someone else can come into your life to help you to fully experience love, remember that it is always possible. There is always a way. The Universe is a much better planner than you! 

Keep your eyes open. Keep your heart open. Make sure you are giving back to yourself the love you are sending out. Feel and know your worth. And, take it easy. Don't push. Feel the gentleness of it. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovely souls. Love yourself fully. And, no matter what, don’t be afraid to love again! 

One True Love

Most of us go through our lives searching for that elusive true love. We search for that person that will create ease, joy, and happiness in our lives, because true love never hurts. Right?

Let's look at it from a different perspective: You are hedging your bets on one person to be 'it'. To be the coffee to your cream. The jam to your peanut butter.

And, yes, you should definitely have that! There is nothing like two people fitting like a glove.
Putting all cliches aside, keep in mind that there are several people that will come and go in your life that will seem like true love (see The Myth of the One blog post). Because we are constantly changing and evolving, the relationship that happened in your 20s may not be applicable in your 40s.


However, your true love relationship isn't found 'out there'.
You actually know your true love already.
YOU are your one true love. Always have and always will be.

Before deciding to write this blog post off, consider this:
You are going to be with yourself for the rest of your life. No one else. Just you.

You are the one that needs to treat yourself with kindness, love, respect, and care. You have to treat yourself like a best friend; like a beautiful lover.

When you find out that your true love is the one that resides within, your heart will expand even more, opening yourself up to a deep soul connection with another person who is ready to expand further with you.

Much love to you, lovely souls!

Namaste.

Your Authentic Self

In this world of trying to impress others with our beauty, talent, and intelligence, what we really are longing for is to be loved. To be validated. To feel our worth.

However, we fail to do one important thing: Be true to ourselves. Be authentic. Be who we really are.

Don’t misunderstand me: there is nothing wrong with making a first impression; but make sure that the first impression is who you truly are, and the only way you can do this is by knowing who you really are. 

True beauty is the light that shines from within; and before you think that this is all fluffy crap, keep in mind that everything is energy/vibration. When we are attracted to someone, we are attracted to the frequency of that person because it is a match to ours. If you are not being loving to yourself, and don't respect yourself, you will attract someone who will reflect that back onto you.

So, what is being our 'authentic selves'? Being unabashedly who we are. Not putting on a show to impress, but letting our natural light shine and radiate out for the world to see. It means knowing our divine selves. It means knowing that we are love... knowing that we are worthy.
Loving every piece of our perfectly imperfect selves.

Be your beautiful selves, Beautiful People! 

Namaste. 

You Are Love

Dear Beautiful Souls,

As I'm writing this, I'm wondering how I can impress upon you how amazingly beautiful you are!
Truly, take a look at your fantastic selves!
If you can't see it, then you aren't looking deep enough.

You have come this far and learned so much about life and love. You have made it through times of contrast and adversity, and still, here you are, standing strong and stable on your own two feet.

If you are still beating yourself up because of the past, then stop...it's done. The past only has power if you give it power.

You went through those difficult times to help you grow. Be proud of yourself and how far you have come! It's an amazing thing when we can look back and say, "Ya, that happened, and I know so much more now. I have become better because of it."

Realize that every single day you become better and better; it's all part of this lovely journey that you are on.
Let the path unfold before you in brilliant and luminescent colours of your choice. It always has been your choice. You get to decide if you want to reach for a higher place, or stay staring at what is. Because you are here right now means you want so much more; to reach for better than what you've had.

Are you ready to take the next step and unravel another layer of your beautiful self? Start pulling back the veil and watch what happens. Go deep inside your heart and discover what is lying there waiting for you to awaken it. When you do, the fire within you will grow so brightly that nothing can shake you.

Remember, it's not what you do, how much you have, or where you have been that determines who you are; it's how much you are able to love yourself and love others.

You are, and always have been, full of love.

You are love.

Namaste!

Deep, Beautiful Love

I want to share my story with you so you can see what my thought process is about why I haven’t dated anyone in 30 months... and why you should not settle. Ever.

If you aren’t aware of part of my story, Trevor, my love and my best friend who passed away on Valentine’s Day 2012. Trevor had been everything: my lover, my cheerleader, my best friend, my confidante... we grew so much during our time together; always learning and expanding from each other and the world.

Trevor and I started out as friends, and built a strong foundation from there. Ours was a deep love based on mutual respect and care. The connection we had also ran very deep to the point where we could sense each other’s energy when apart. He sensed when I was having a bad day, or vice versa. The flow of energy was also easy. I’m not saying that our relationship didn’t come without adversity or contrast, or that it was perfect; but, when issues arose, we could work it out from a place of love.

Now, here we are, 30 months later, and I haven’t been with anyone. It’s not because I’ve been in mourning this whole time, or that I am unable to move on; nope, on the contrary. It’s about discovering who I am; loving myself; healing myself, and knowing what I want.

If I were to jump into something I only half-heartedly wanted, the result would be disappointing. Not only would it be unfair to me, but unfair to the other person.

Someone told me recently that I should get a Tinder account (or something similar), and I almost threw up in my mouth. Maybe there are some people who have found something lasting on superficial sites such as these, but it's not for this woman. I want quality, not quantity. But, this isn’t to say that you can’t find someone on these sites that might be ready for a deep and meaningful relationship. We are talking about energy here, and what you put out, comes back. So, have at it if that’s what you are interested in.

However, when you’ve experienced what I’ve experienced, a deep and beautiful love, you will not want to go back to anything less. You will not settle.  

I know if I were to ‘hook up’ with a man, or pick a man because he was warm and had a heartbeat, I’d be doing myself a disservice and would be dishonouring Trevor’s memory. He would not want me to ‘hook up’. He would want me to be with someone that would be able to give and receive deep love, to be respectful, and to be my best friend as well as my lover.

Now, here’s the take away: If you are looking for a beautiful, loving relationship, then build a strong foundation first. As much as you want to sleep with that person, try to take it slower. I have also had the fast relationship where you sleep together before really knowing each other—and that ended in divorce.

Get to know each other. Learn about each other. Be best friends.  What a beautiful thing it is when you can learn from each other without the huge weight of expectation. And, trust me, when you make that deep, beautiful connection, sex will be Off. The. Charts! 

I remember distinctly when I knew Trevor was my best friend. We had been talking and sharing so much that, one day, it was clear to me how important he was. And, not long after that, I knew that I really, really, really loved him. 

From that blossomed something beautiful, loving, passionate, and wonderful.

This is why I never settle.

I wish you much love, beautiful souls.

Namaste.