Why I'm Not Afraid to Love Again: A Valentine's Day Story

It's Valentine's Day and also the third anniversary since my beloved passed away. Please, don’t feel sorry for me. 

Yes, his death crushed me and there was a time when I wondered how I would be able to ever move forward. I wasn't sure if the pain would ever move out of my heart or if I would ever feel normal again. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to the point of moving on or living fully. 

But I have. With one foot in front of the other, I have. 

Sometimes, we can’t understand why someone has to leave us. That's the thing about death: we can never ask the person who has died why they had to go. We can’t ask them that, if things were done differently, maybe they would still be here. We can't keep wondering if only we could turn back the hands of time and do something different, maybe this wouldn't have happened. We also can’t continue to beat ourselves up with questions of ‘what if’.

The point is, they have chosen that path. Whether consciously or subconsciously, it was all up to them. And we have to honour their choice. As much as it hurts, as much as we feel left behind, them leaving has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them wanting to move on. We have to respect that.

Do I still have questions? Definitely. But, I never regret my time spent with him. I never feel like I’ve been handed a bad deal. I loved him with all my heart, and still do. What he gave to me has given me the strength to carry on. 

Do I have bad days? Yes, of course. It’s human to have these feelings. 
But, then I think about the love he gave. What a lovely gift I was given! He showed me what deep and beautiful love is. This is something I will treasure forever!

I’m not afraid to love again. This amazing love that we had was full of respect and kindness, and was a true gift... and I want that again. This is one of the reasons why I won't settle. 

When you feel like you can’t move on; when you feel like you have been hurt too much and wonder how it's possible to love again; when you wonder if it's possible if someone else can come into your life to help you to fully experience love, remember that it is always possible. There is always a way. The Universe is a much better planner than you! 

Keep your eyes open. Keep your heart open. Make sure you are giving back to yourself the love you are sending out. Feel and know your worth. And, take it easy. Don't push. Feel the gentleness of it. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovely souls. Love yourself fully. And, no matter what, don’t be afraid to love again! 

New Year's Re-Solution: Turning Lead into Gold

As I mentioned in the last post, Standing at the Threshold, we've reached that time of year again where we reflect on the past and look forward to making the next year better. Many of us write out our resolutions or intentions with high hopes that these changes will stick; that we will be a different person with a different life by 2016. We crave change, and want to see some sort of progress in our lives. We want to become unstuck. 

I heard the best explanation of the word 'resolution' today. Instead of seeing the word as 'resolution', see it as a 're-solution', a re-do of the 'solution' that you concocted from the previous year. Just like an alchemist turns lead into gold, you are essentially mixing different ingredients to create a better solution than the one from the previous year.

But, how does one create change, especially since you wanted to make changes last year and nothing happened. When the alchemist turns lead into gold, there has to be the right combination of ingredients and actions to make the gold a reality. Obviously, if the alchemist has failed to create gold in previous attempts, he/she must adjust the ingredients and the process. 

To create what we want in our own lives, we must change or adapt and become what we want to bring into our lives. This requires diligence and focus on our part. It requires adapting our thought processes. It also means being aware of our emotions and not falling back into our old way of thinking and being. It takes work, effort, and dedication.  It won't change over night. It's a process. 

Jeanette Winterso said, “It is not possible to control the outside of yourself until you have mastered your breathing space. It is not possible to change anything until you understand the substance you wish to change.” 

Understand yourself--this is what self-mastery is. It is knowing who you are and that you are the creator of your own life. The current circumstances that are occurring for you right now are manifestations from old vibrations. If you were to consciously choose your thoughts and emotions everyday for 30 days, you would see movement in your life that will surprise you. 

Dear beautiful souls, it is time to mix a new solution. Even if you aren't sure if you are adding the right components, just get started and adjust along the way. You don't need to know it all right now, just begin. 

Happy New Year!

Namaste.

Effort and Struggle

So many of us think that struggling is key to a happy life. You slug away at your job, your relationship, and your financial situation in hopes that, at some point, things will turn around. Maybe you believe that karma will balance things out because you've earned it. Right?

Seeing as this is a relationship blog, let's use relationships as an example: You've worked at your relationship for years. You've put in the time, the hard work, the struggle. Now, where's your reward? Isn't that how it goes? We are taught that if we struggle, it will justify our existence.

Here's the thing, there is no reward for struggling. Nope. Never. 
However, there is a reward for alignment and deliberately creating your life, and that does take work...but the good kind.

This leads us to knowing the difference between effort and struggle. Struggle means keeping your head above water so you won't drown. It means forcing. It means working so hard that you have nothing left to give at the end of the day. There is no gentleness in struggle. There is no flow in struggle. So, if you are struggling in a relationship, ask yourself why?

Effort, on the other hand, is a completely different thing. Effort is gentle. It is focused and determined. It is seeing the outcome and heading in that direction. Effort is required in everything we do: Getting dressed in the morning, driving to work, making a meal, writing a blog. Effort is also required in relationships. More importantly, balanced effort is a must. Balanced effort means that the goal of both people involved is to make the relationship amazing. It's not about making the other person happy, and vice-versa, because we cannot rely on others for our own happiness. 

It's about making the effort and taking the time to adjust your own vibration to what you want. It's never about arguing who is right. It's never about trying to get that person to respect you. Respect yourself. Love yourself. Truly, completely, and without reservation. Your partner will either adjust their own vibration to meet up with your new vibration, or they will simply fade away and someone else will come into your life that is a better match for you. 

The Universe doesn't make mistakes, and it will always comply with your vibration, regardless if you are deliberately creating it or creating by default. 

So, beautiful souls, get into the vibe of ease and flow; it will take effort, but the good kind. When you do, you will wonder why you didn't do it in the first place. 

Namaste! 

De-Cluttering Your Life

A few weeks ago, I visited a very intuitive friend that was able to help me with some issues that had been bugging me for a while now. During this time, she received messages from her guides that I was to take a break from writing for 8 weeks. What?! Eight weeks of no writing?

"I have clients," I protested. I can't NOT write. 

However, she assured me that the writing I was doing for my clients was different from my own writing projects, and this was what I needed a break from.

The reasoning was due to the coming changes for me. My energy is changing, which will show in the way I write, create, and how I express ideas. There will be a deepening of more love and respect for myself and for others, which will also be obvious in my creative projects.

If I continue to write without the break, it will be with the same old energy, and it will feel stuck. 

That being said, I have been stuck on a writing project for years. Even though I can see the end result, the flow isn't there. I can see where I want it to go, but the progress doesn't come. 

Even with this blog, I know what I want to say, but the articulation leaves me stranded. 

That being said, I do have a healthy amount of skepticism, but I also have an open mind to consider the things she suggested. 

The point I want to make, dear readers, is: Is there something that you need to de-clutter in your life? In your mind? In your heart? Is there something that you need to take a step back from to get some clarity? Unsettled relationships can produce a lot of cluttered thinking, and we continue to hammer the square peg into the round hole, trying to make it work; trying to make it fit. Take a step back. Meditate. Be more present. Busy yourself by getting rid of material items that no longer serve you. Spring clean your house, your mind, your heart, and your life. 

Rumi said:                              

  “Although the road is never ending

                                              take a step and keep walking,

     do not look fearfully into the distance.

      On this path let the heart be your guide

         for the body is hesitant and full of fear.”

Don't view this as the end, because there is no end. View this as a shedding of the old, revealing a new story.  

Namaste.