Honouring Your Feelings - Respecting Yourself

Happy Self Love Sunday! 

I can't say this enough: Honouring our feelings is imperative to living a beautiful life. If we ignore them or we don't speak our truth, then we aren't respecting ourselves.

Your feelings are important. 
Expressing our emotions releases energy and leaves room for positive energy to enter. 
This is your Soul Love Minute. 

PS : Soul Love Warrior : A Guide to Loving Your Beautiful, Badass Self coming soon! 


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This is Self-love

To attract a relationship that is loving, trustworthy, respectful, and supportive, make sure to develop these things within yourself first.
Love yourself. 
Trust yourself. 
Be supportive of who you are. 
This is selflove. 

Watch for the upcoming Self-love workbook that will help you to delve deep in the heart centre, finding the love within yourself. 


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The Relationship Expiry Date

We've all been there: Hanging on to a relationship that clearly has past the 'Best Before Date'. For some reason, we like to hang on to things that no longer serve us. We think we will try harder or things will change for the better, and granted, they can. But, obviously, something has shifted in the vibration of the relationship and both people involved know it, even if they won't admit it. 

If you've already started to detach from a relationship because it no longer works, but, you have not fully cut the cord, here are few things to consider: 

• Prolonging the inevitable will not make it easier, but harder. Think about when you have to get a project done and you delay it to the last minute. It's a struggle and you hate every second of it. But, once it's done, you feel overwhelming relief. It's like pulling off a bandage: When you do it slowly, it's extremely painful.

• If you are trying to spare the other person's feelings, trust me, you aren't. You are only sparing your own so you don't look like the bad person. Fact is, it's more hurtful, damaging, and disrespectful when you put off what you know has to be done. The other person still believes that they are in a relationship with you. Even though they feel the pulling away, they will ignore it and still continue on. 

• You are preventing a more beautiful relationship from coming into your own life and the other person's life. That wonderful man/woman for you could be waiting to walk through that door, but you choose to keep it closed. 

• Holding on to a relationship because you feel you have to, because it's how you measure your worthiness, or because you are lonely are not valid reasons to hang on. 

When you ignore the signs that the relationship has hit its expiry date and when you delay what you know in your heart to be true, you are not doing yourself any favours. 

By not moving on from a relationship, when you know you should, will set up the vibration of not moving forward in other areas of your life. You will manifest a feeling of 'stuckness' or a perpetual cycle of the same scenarios, not only in your relationships, but in your career, finances, health, etc.

Resisting change causes more suffering than moving forward ever will. Keep moving forward. 

P.S: Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Find out how: www.prairiegirlpress.spreadshirt.ca .

Why I'm Not Afraid to Love Again: A Valentine's Day Story

It's Valentine's Day and also the third anniversary since my beloved passed away. Please, don’t feel sorry for me. 

Yes, his death crushed me and there was a time when I wondered how I would be able to ever move forward. I wasn't sure if the pain would ever move out of my heart or if I would ever feel normal again. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to the point of moving on or living fully. 

But I have. With one foot in front of the other, I have. 

Sometimes, we can’t understand why someone has to leave us. That's the thing about death: we can never ask the person who has died why they had to go. We can’t ask them that, if things were done differently, maybe they would still be here. We can't keep wondering if only we could turn back the hands of time and do something different, maybe this wouldn't have happened. We also can’t continue to beat ourselves up with questions of ‘what if’.

The point is, they have chosen that path. Whether consciously or subconsciously, it was all up to them. And we have to honour their choice. As much as it hurts, as much as we feel left behind, them leaving has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them wanting to move on. We have to respect that.

Do I still have questions? Definitely. But, I never regret my time spent with him. I never feel like I’ve been handed a bad deal. I loved him with all my heart, and still do. What he gave to me has given me the strength to carry on. 

Do I have bad days? Yes, of course. It’s human to have these feelings. 
But, then I think about the love he gave. What a lovely gift I was given! He showed me what deep and beautiful love is. This is something I will treasure forever!

I’m not afraid to love again. This amazing love that we had was full of respect and kindness, and was a true gift... and I want that again. This is one of the reasons why I won't settle. 

When you feel like you can’t move on; when you feel like you have been hurt too much and wonder how it's possible to love again; when you wonder if it's possible if someone else can come into your life to help you to fully experience love, remember that it is always possible. There is always a way. The Universe is a much better planner than you! 

Keep your eyes open. Keep your heart open. Make sure you are giving back to yourself the love you are sending out. Feel and know your worth. And, take it easy. Don't push. Feel the gentleness of it. 

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovely souls. Love yourself fully. And, no matter what, don’t be afraid to love again! 

That's Not a Good Enough Offer for Me

I'm not sure if you've seen Bridget Jones' Diary, but near the end of the movie when Daniel Cleaver is lying in the street, after Mark Darcy hands him his ass, he says to Bridget Jones,  

"Come on Bridget, we belong together - you, me, poor little skirt. If I can't make it with you, then I can't make it with anyone."

After a few seconds of pondering, and realizing that Daniel will never give her what she needs, she says, "That's not a good enough offer for me."

This is probably one of the most revelatory moments in the entire movie, not only for Bridget, but for others who have been in Bridget's shoes.

We go through life stuck in waiting mode. We wait for our love interest to realize that they truly love us and can't live without us. We wait for that person to see our perfection and our worthiness, hoping that they will realize we are the best thing ever to come into their lives. We stay stuck waiting and hoping that this other person, the one who pushes us away as fast as they pull us into their lives, will realize how much they need us, validating who we are, not realizing that they are, most likely, very much a 'Daniel Cleaver'.

If you are experiencing uncertainty in your love life with regards to another person, ask yourself the following: 

• Why am I allowing this? 
• Why am I hanging around when I'm not getting what I need or want? 

Saying you are sticking around because you 'really love someone and it's really good when we are together' is great, but what about the in between parts? Let me explain: Loving someone is truly amazing. Being 'good' together when you are 'actually together' is also lovely. But, what is going on during those times of uncertainty? Relationships are partnerships where there is no question where you stand with the other person. If you are always playing scenarios in your mind about why he/she hasn't called/texted yet, or racking your brain about what you said or did that pushed that person away, then you aren't getting what you want and need from this relationship. 

Ask yourself, dear friends, "Is this a good enough offer for me?"

Bridget Jones came to the point where she wasn't willing to settle with someone who was unsure about her. She wanted the certainty. She wanted someone to love and respect her as much as she could give love and respect back. She wanted more. 

You deserve more. 

You Can't Put Whipped Cream on Top of Crap....

Most of us can attest to being in a relationship where things aren't going so well; where things seem to be crumbling all around us. 

You are lost and don't know what to do as you desperately try to put the pieces back together; trying to hold everything up with tape or glue, or whatever adhesive you have on hand, while you make only surface adjustments. 

Basically, you are putting whipped cream on top of crap and calling it a sundae, even though it'll still taste like crap. 

A relationship built on a rocky foundation is like being lost at sea, floating in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. The boat springs a leak, and you put one finger in the hole to stop the water from flowing in, only to discover another hole has appeared. You can continue to do this if you like, but it's not going to give you a long term solution. The boat will eventually sink.

So, what is the answer to building a strong foundation from day one of your relationship?

Apply the following (to yourself and to your lover): 

• Love
• Respect
• Trust
• Integrity
• Appreciation
• Loyalty
• Friendship

This is a reciprocal thing based on giving and receiving from both parties. If there is no flow of the above, if the above does not exist, then the foundation will crumble. 

How to build a weak foundation: 

• Base the relationship solely on physical attraction or sex.
• Base the relationship on superficial/material things (like what they do for a living, money, where they live, what they drive, or the type of connections they can provide) 
• Do not love yourself enough first.
• Have very little in common with the other person. 
• Begin a relationship because you are lonely.
• Do not deal with your insecurities first.
• You are looking for validation of your worth and lovability.

Enter into a new relationship with confidence, security, love, and appreciation for yourself first, because when you are able to give these key ingredients to yourself, you will be able to give them to another. However, if you are not receiving these things in return, then the relationship is not worth the effort. Love yourself enough to know this and to move on. 

Remember, you are worth the best that the world has to offer!

Much love to you! 

Namaste. 

Are You Attracted to a Fixer Upper?

You’ve all seen those home improvement shows where a team goes in and guts a house, renovates it, then sells it for more than what they bought it for. Isn't it amazing to see the end product? So much hard work and dedication was put into making something so old and worn into something so beautiful.

However, this doesn't apply to relationships. There are many of us out there that fall in love with the 'potential' of a person, and believe that they can be so much more than what they realize. You are positive that, with your help, love, and commitment, they will blossom like a rose. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, and you rarely get a return on your investment.

Instead of the relationship being propelled forward, you are busy trying to fix them; lifting them up and trying to mould them into their full potential. 

If you are anything like me, you may have spent a lot of time ‘fixing’ others. It really is exhausting. Eventually, you get to the point where you can't do it anymore. 

Although, it is valiant of you to take it upon yourself to help your lover become everything that they are meant to be, at some point you will want to see them fly on their own. However, it isn't your job to make them 'better'. They have to want to do it themselves. 

And, if they do not take the lead, but choose to stay stuck where they are, you will spend the bulk of the relationship trying to make them feel good, while you become unsatisfied and resentful. 

This is where you have to ask yourself, 'Is it worth it?' Relationships do require effort. That is a given. However, you want your lover to be right beside you on your journey together and to grow with you. It would be remiss for me to say that there aren’t bumps and curves in relationships. They certainly do happen. But, when you are constantly being the life support for the other person, that means you have found yourself a 'Fixer Upper'. When you realize this, you have to ask yourself a few things: 

• Is this what I truly want? 
• Why would I attract this into my life? (In my case, several times!) 
• How do I feel about myself? Do I feel worthy enough to have a stable, loving relationship? 
• Do I feel it is my job to fix others? 
• Is there something in my own life that I need to address, but have been ignoring by focusing on someone else's problems? 

The fact is, relationships are supposed to be enjoyable. Love is supposed to be fun. A relationship full of stress and indeciveness does not make a happy life. 

Time to be honest with yourself: 

What is it exactly that you want in a loving relationship? And, are you getting it in your current relationship? 

Make sure that you are loving yourself, respecting yourself, and being true to who you are! 

Much love, Beautiful Souls!

Namaste!

Our Greatest Teachers

Who are your greatest spiritual teachers? 

They don’t have to be the typical ones that we commonly think of like, Buddha, Gandhi, or Jesus.

Actually, they can be those who have brought you the most pain.

I know this seems a little ‘out there’, but we can gain a lot of knowledge from those people who have treated us not so kindly and with derision.

Last week, I watched an interview with Shirley MacLaine and she was asked this very question. Who were her spiritual teachers? She said that her greatest spiritual teachers were those who have caused her the most pain.

Taking a step back from this, you’d think that the woman enjoyed being mistreated. However, this wasn't the case. What she was saying was that those who have caused her the most pain were giving her more clarity of what she didn't want to bring into her life.

Being mistreated, disrespected, not getting the love that you want, or being treated unkindly by these people can help us to grow and evolve into the human being that we want to be.

There have been many times where I have been mistreated or that I hear of others showing disrespect and I think, ‘I don’t want to be like that. Be a better person. Always strive to be a better person.’

But, it also comes back to how we treat ourselves. If another person is mistreating us and we are putting up with it, and have been for quite some time, this is an opportunity for us to look inward and understand what we are bringing to the situation. It's time to ask those hard questions of why are we choosing to stay when the relationship does not serve us for our highest good.

However, if you have gotten out of a relationship, and still harbour resentment or bad feelings, take a look at how the relationship has served you. What new knowledge have you garnered from that relationship?

Take that experience, take that new understanding, and realize that something even better will come along. It always does. 

The Most Important Thing....

There are hundreds of topics to choose from when writing about relationships; but the most important of them all is: The Love of Self. 

This is a huge one. We tend to grow through life not loving ourselves enough, hoping that someone else will fill that need for us, and love us into loving ourselves. Or, hoping we become lovable enough if we are loved. But, what if that person leaves? Then what? Do we once again become unlovable?

This is why loving yourself first is so very important. Before you get into that relationship, before you sign yourself up for online dating website, or before you consider speed dating, love yourself first.

What it means to love yourself: 

Lately, you may have heard the buzz about loving yourself. Everyone may nod their heads in agreement, but does anyone take any action when it comes to loving themselves fully?

Maybe giving yourself some downtime, or buying yourself something nice is loving yourself. Or possibly taking time for an occasional massage or pedicure, nice meal or vacation.

Love of self means something different to everyone;  but, at the basis of it, loving yourself means respect. It means understanding your needs and wants. It means caring enough for yourself to never mistreat yourself or let others mistreat you. It means that, no matter what, caring for yourself, your body, mind and spirit is at the top of the list.

It also means looking in the mirror everyday and being kind to yourself. Looking in the mirror being happy with what you see. It’s getting up in the morning and not having those negative thoughts pervade you for the next 14 hours; those thoughts about how you aren’t enough, or why didn’t you do that thing you should have done, or why didn’t you exercise, or why did you eat those cookies? Why did you spend that money? 

It’s getting up everyday and saying, 'I’m great'. 'I’m perfect just the way I am.' 'I accept me and I’m accepting of me.' This doesn’t mean that, if you want to grow and evolve in body, mind, and spirit, you can’t. It’s about making peace with what is happening right in this moment, and say, 'It’s okay. Just keep going.'

When my children were learning to walk, I never berated them for not knowing how to do it on their first try. I encouraged them if they fell down, and told them it's okay, and to try again. 

This should be the same with how we treat ourselves. It’s okay. Just try again. You will get there. Love yourself and who you are right now. Love yourself no matter what. When we love ourselves, that love will shine through for the world to see. 

Every day and in every single moment, we all have the power to choose differently.

PS: Soul Love Awakening proudly supports worldwide charities. Find out how: Prairiegirlpress.spreadshirt.ca .