Make a Commitment to Yourself

Happy Self Love Sunday ! 

Are you committed to your own self love growth and expansion? Are you committed to discovering your own divinity? 

Sometimes we experience setbacks and wonder if it is all worth it. It is worth it and you are worth it! 

This is your Soul Love Minute. 

Soul Love Warrior: A Guide to Loving Your Beautiful, Badass Self coming soon! 

Also! Watch for online courses and one-on-one guidance! 

Honouring Your Feelings - Respecting Yourself

Happy Self Love Sunday! 

I can't say this enough: Honouring our feelings is imperative to living a beautiful life. If we ignore them or we don't speak our truth, then we aren't respecting ourselves.

Your feelings are important. 
Expressing our emotions releases energy and leaves room for positive energy to enter. 
This is your Soul Love Minute. 

PS : Soul Love Warrior : A Guide to Loving Your Beautiful, Badass Self coming soon! 


Www.soullovewarrior.com Www.tamarahanson.ca

Are You Letting Love In?

We cannot move through this life unscathed. At one point or another, we will be hurt by a lover that we trusted, which can leave us leery about trying at love again. It can drive us to do things that will keep our hearts hidden, protected, and buried somewhere where no one can find it.

Many would argue what love actually is: Emotion, feeling, a state of mind, a state of being, an action, or, as Allanah Myles sings, 'love is what you want it to be'.  

Here is my take on it: Love, unconditional love, is seeing the other person for who they really are—as pure love themselves, and loving that person because they are already love. There is no ego involved. There is no 'you scratch my back and I scratch yours.' It's an energy exchange that easily flows between two people.

The only time that it doesn't flow easily is when there is resistance by one or both parties. Typically this means that the heart is still being protected and hidden.

Eckhart Tolle says, "What is commonly called "falling in love" is in most cases an intensification of egoic wanting and needing. You become addicted to another person, or rather to your image of that person. It has nothing to do with true love, which contains no wanting whatsoever." 

Dear Lovely Souls, Loving another requires unlocking the door to your heart so love can flow in. How beautiful it is to be able to experience what it's like to love and be loved. Life is meant to be lived with love. Don't squander it.


PS:
Find love of self, inside and out. Attend Michelle Ponto's Women's Wellness Retreat July 16-19, 2015 in Phoenix, Arizona. Click here for details. 

You Can't Put Whipped Cream on Top of Crap....

Most of us can attest to being in a relationship where things aren't going so well; where things seem to be crumbling all around us. 

You are lost and don't know what to do as you desperately try to put the pieces back together; trying to hold everything up with tape or glue, or whatever adhesive you have on hand, while you make only surface adjustments. 

Basically, you are putting whipped cream on top of crap and calling it a sundae, even though it'll still taste like crap. 

A relationship built on a rocky foundation is like being lost at sea, floating in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. The boat springs a leak, and you put one finger in the hole to stop the water from flowing in, only to discover another hole has appeared. You can continue to do this if you like, but it's not going to give you a long term solution. The boat will eventually sink.

So, what is the answer to building a strong foundation from day one of your relationship?

Apply the following (to yourself and to your lover): 

• Love
• Respect
• Trust
• Integrity
• Appreciation
• Loyalty
• Friendship

This is a reciprocal thing based on giving and receiving from both parties. If there is no flow of the above, if the above does not exist, then the foundation will crumble. 

How to build a weak foundation: 

• Base the relationship solely on physical attraction or sex.
• Base the relationship on superficial/material things (like what they do for a living, money, where they live, what they drive, or the type of connections they can provide) 
• Do not love yourself enough first.
• Have very little in common with the other person. 
• Begin a relationship because you are lonely.
• Do not deal with your insecurities first.
• You are looking for validation of your worth and lovability.

Enter into a new relationship with confidence, security, love, and appreciation for yourself first, because when you are able to give these key ingredients to yourself, you will be able to give them to another. However, if you are not receiving these things in return, then the relationship is not worth the effort. Love yourself enough to know this and to move on. 

Remember, you are worth the best that the world has to offer!

Much love to you! 

Namaste. 

Getting What You Want

Here's a question: Why aren't you getting what you want?

It’s because your focus is off. Couple that with not believing that you can have what you want, and also your negative emotions, and suddenly, you are creating things you don't want.

If you could pay attention to a large portion of your thoughts and feelings throughout the day (I know, there are at least 60000 thoughts per day, so don’t stress yourself out if you don’t catch every single one of them.), you would begin to see things change.

What we think about we bring about. While many people may dispute that this isn’t the case at all, and that they’ve been thinking positively most of the time.... like, for about a week.... what it comes down to is your vibration, the one that you've been carrying around for a very long time. You are used to it, and you don't even realize the frequency you are giving off because it is a part of you, and it will be a part of you until you decide to change it.

But, it takes time. Think of it as a muscle. When you go to the gym to work out, you aren’t going to see results in only 10 reps of arm curls or 20 squats, are you? No. It takes time to build muscle mass. But, if you go to the gym 3 times per week and consistently do your workout, you will start to see the muscles becoming more defined. 

Apply this analogy to your thinking. Your thoughts are just that...thoughts. They hold no real weight except for the importance that you give them.

Here's the disclaimer: thoughts and emotions can become things. You could be thinking a positive thought right now, but, if you are still feeling negatively, you won’t get anywhere.

Thoughts and emotion go hand in hand. If your thought process is one of seeing the outcome you want, but your feelings are negative, you won’t get what you truly desire. You'll just keep going in circles, recreating the same thing.  Oh, sure, you may experience some up swings, but the peaks and dips will be huge.

What you want is a smoother ride with the occasional bump in the road. Why do you want the bump in the road? That’s the contrast. That’s where you expand even further. If you were always on a smooth road, you would never expand further from where you are. You would never grow. You would stay the same. 

These bumps of contrast are there for you to shift your awareness. They are the wake up call for you to realize, with great clarity, of what you do not want. Once you feel that contrast, you must shift your perception to what you truly want.

If you keep focusing on the bump, you will create more bumps and bigger dips and peaks. After awhile, it becomes really annoying. You feel like you are on a crazy amusement park ride with no way of getting off.

Think the good thoughts, beautiful friends! Those are the important ones.
Namaste!

Authenticity - Part 2

This "Living Authentically" thing has been on my mind all week (see my previous blog post on Your Authentic Self). The conclusion that I came to was that: I'm not living authentically... and most people aren't.  

After I heard Alanis Morissette talk on Super Soul Sunday, it had me thinking lots about who I am. Truly.

She spoke about getting past the lies to the place where there is only truth. These lies that we tell ourselves usually come in the form of:

I'm not worthy.

I'm not valuable. 

My work is not valuable. 

I have nothing to offer. 

I'm not good enough. 

We wear a mask so others don't see what is really going on; not being straight forward with ourselves. Perhaps we are doing things that don't resonate with who we are, but do them to please others, save face, and to keep the facade going. When really, we are crumbling inside. 

When I speak of the authentic self, I'm not talking about the personality, or how we 'always' are when around others.

That is not the authentic self. Those things have to do with behaviours and beliefs that were instilled in us. That is your ego. That's the stuff we identify ourselves with, but are not who we really are. 

For me, it was a moment of realization: I'm not being authentic to me. I'm not doing those things that I resonate with. I'm not being true to who I am. I am not being true to where I want to go in this life experience. I'm not being authentic with others. I do things to make other people feel better at the cost of myself feeling worse. 

This happens in love relationships too: we adjust our behaviour to impress or accommodate. We lose ourselves. We tell ourselves that our needs do not need to be met. Our opinions aren't as important. Our time is not important. Our dreams are not important. 

We stop trusting our own guidance. We stop believing in our self worth. We stop believing in our own abilities.  We stop believing that we are this amazing being that can create worlds.

Have you been living authentically?

What lies have you told yourself? 

Keep shining, Beautiful Souls. 

Living What's Important

In relationships (even in the potential relationships), our energies are typically focused on the other person. Where's this going? How does he/she feel about me?

We begin to over-analyze everything that the other person said: every text, every emoticon. We drown ourselves in thoughts about the future and the what-ifs, and suddenly, it becomes a 24/7 guessing game of trying to validate the relationship. It's maddening! And, if the relationship doesn't work out, more craziness ensues as analysis is taken in a new direction.

I certainly have been party to this--this maddening cluster of thoughts and wonderings that don't seem to end. That is, until I was able to take a step back.
I mean, really step back and look. Remove the tunnel vision and look at the bigger picture.

For me, it was a realization that I had been focusing on the wrong things. I had made my passion and my purpose secondary over something or someone that I had been clinging to for no good reason.

But, this is what we do. We forget what is really important to us, hoping that someone will validate and love us, not realizing we are chasing a ghost of potential.

Have you done this? Are you always the one showing up dressed in your best outfit, and the other person doesn't show up at all? And, if they do, they are showing up sloppy for you?

If you have, take a step back and really look at the bigger picture. View it like a movie screen and take in everything. Every detail. Certainly, the hope in your heart wants you to see and believe in the potential. And there is nothing wrong with that. There is always possibility and the Universe is unlimited.

However, what is it that you are giving up of yourself? And what are you getting out of this situation?
Are you putting more in than you are receiving? And why did you attract this relationship? (see previous post on Why You Are Attracting the Same Types of Relationships.)

For me, I always go into 'fix it' mode, trying to help others; giving of my precious time and energy, only to put my passion and dreams on hold, till finally realizing that I was losing a piece of myself by buoying someone up. There is nothing wrong with helping out another, just don't be their crutch.

If you are going through a relationship transition or are uncertain about where a relationship is headed, take a step back. Then decide with a loving heart that you will focus on what's important to you, and then do it. Focus on it. Remember who you are. When you focus on what you love about yourself, about your passion, the right person will come along and join in with you.

I wish you much love, Beautiful Souls.

Namaste