The False Self

You may have heard the saying that we can't define ourselves by our past because we aren't that person anymore.

Unfortunately, we love to be labelled by past situations and events as if they are the things that give us our identity. We hold onto them so tightly, believing that we will become nothing if we lose this part of ourselves. This is our false self. This is the ego that puts on a mask and prances around pretending to be us, only for us to discover much later that the ego could never be who we truly are.

Cynthia Bourgeault said, “Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develops a false self: a set of protective behaviours driven at root by a sense of need and lack. The essence of the false self is driven, addictive energy, consisting of tremendous emotional investment in compensatory "emotional programs for happiness," as Keating calls them."

The ego loves to hold onto outworn beliefs because it feels the need to be validated. There is a fear of letting go of our past because we do not want to lose ourselves in the process lest we disappear into oblivion. We have become so comfortably acquainted to that part of ourselves that, even though it no longer works for us, we accept it as who we are, arguing that 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks.'

When we start to experience ourselves by what we want to be, how we want to act, who we want to be, rather than by the false self created by the ego, then that is when things begin to shift.

If we continue to define our lives by our situations, life events, and illnesses, then we will continue to have the same experiences, and change will not come.

Dr. Joe Dispenza says the ego is useful for things like determining fight or flight, and for measuring safety or danger. When the ego starts holding you back, making you feel rotten about yourself, then you have a serious problem on your hands.

Marianne Williamson said, "We are either walking toward love or we are walking toward fear." Which one are you walking toward? Are you fearful all of the time? Then you are letting ego have its way with you. Don't let the ego hold you hostage. Love is the only thing that is real.

Dear beautiful souls, reach for something better because you ARE already something better.

Namaste.

PS: Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Discover how at Prairiegirlpress.spreadshirt.ca .

Grace and Grieving

The loss of a lover is devastating, especially when you least expect it. Constantly questioning the 'why' of it, and the 'what ifs' will only leave you more confused.

You may question if you’ll ever move on or if you will ever experience any relief from the seemingly unbearable pain in your heart. Unfortunately, relief and healing do not come all at once; it’s a one foot in front of the other type of progression. In one minute, you will be fine, and in the next, you will be sucker punched by grief as it rips your heart out.

So, how do you move on when your loved one transitions to the non-physical?

1)      Take your time with healing. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s time to move on; only you can decide that. They do not know what you are going through, and everyone has their own pace. First and foremost, be gentle and loving with yourself.

2)      Make progress. Just like you need the time to heal, you also need to take steps, big or small, every single day toward healing. Holding yourself in a place of ‘what if’ or living in the past will only prolong your pain.

3)      Seek help. If you need someone to talk to, a counsellor, or even joining a group that will offer the healing support you need, then do it. However, make sure the group’s purpose is to heal and move forward, and not linger in pain and longing.

4)      There is always divine timing involved when a soul transitions. Consider that maybe, just maybe, it's always our individual choice, whether consciously or unconsciously, when we want to leave this earthly plane. (For further information on this, I recommend Anita Moorjani’s book “Dying to be Me.”)

5)      Understand that your lover’s physical body is the only thing that has died. We are all energy, and energy cannot be destroyed. Their energy still remains, and always will be. They are limitless, pure positive energy with no constraints.

Remember: Our loved ones are always with us. They are in the pink sunrise and in an orange sunset. They are a rainy day and a starry night. They are an October wind that whispers through the trees and they are the quiet on a peaceful summer morning. They are the gentle touch on your hand and the soft kiss on your cheek.

When you begin to understand this, you will realize that your heart will go on.

Namaste. 

PS: Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Find out how at Prairiegirlpress.spreadshirt.ca .

Getting What You Want

Here's a question: Why aren't you getting what you want?

It’s because your focus is off. Couple that with not believing that you can have what you want, and also your negative emotions, and suddenly, you are creating things you don't want.

If you could pay attention to a large portion of your thoughts and feelings throughout the day (I know, there are at least 60000 thoughts per day, so don’t stress yourself out if you don’t catch every single one of them.), you would begin to see things change.

What we think about we bring about. While many people may dispute that this isn’t the case at all, and that they’ve been thinking positively most of the time.... like, for about a week.... what it comes down to is your vibration, the one that you've been carrying around for a very long time. You are used to it, and you don't even realize the frequency you are giving off because it is a part of you, and it will be a part of you until you decide to change it.

But, it takes time. Think of it as a muscle. When you go to the gym to work out, you aren’t going to see results in only 10 reps of arm curls or 20 squats, are you? No. It takes time to build muscle mass. But, if you go to the gym 3 times per week and consistently do your workout, you will start to see the muscles becoming more defined. 

Apply this analogy to your thinking. Your thoughts are just that...thoughts. They hold no real weight except for the importance that you give them.

Here's the disclaimer: thoughts and emotions can become things. You could be thinking a positive thought right now, but, if you are still feeling negatively, you won’t get anywhere.

Thoughts and emotion go hand in hand. If your thought process is one of seeing the outcome you want, but your feelings are negative, you won’t get what you truly desire. You'll just keep going in circles, recreating the same thing.  Oh, sure, you may experience some up swings, but the peaks and dips will be huge.

What you want is a smoother ride with the occasional bump in the road. Why do you want the bump in the road? That’s the contrast. That’s where you expand even further. If you were always on a smooth road, you would never expand further from where you are. You would never grow. You would stay the same. 

These bumps of contrast are there for you to shift your awareness. They are the wake up call for you to realize, with great clarity, of what you do not want. Once you feel that contrast, you must shift your perception to what you truly want.

If you keep focusing on the bump, you will create more bumps and bigger dips and peaks. After awhile, it becomes really annoying. You feel like you are on a crazy amusement park ride with no way of getting off.

Think the good thoughts, beautiful friends! Those are the important ones.
Namaste!