Grace and Grieving

The loss of a lover is devastating, especially when you least expect it. Constantly questioning the 'why' of it, and the 'what ifs' will only leave you more confused.

You may question if you’ll ever move on or if you will ever experience any relief from the seemingly unbearable pain in your heart. Unfortunately, relief and healing do not come all at once; it’s a one foot in front of the other type of progression. In one minute, you will be fine, and in the next, you will be sucker punched by grief as it rips your heart out.

So, how do you move on when your loved one transitions to the non-physical?

1)      Take your time with healing. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s time to move on; only you can decide that. They do not know what you are going through, and everyone has their own pace. First and foremost, be gentle and loving with yourself.

2)      Make progress. Just like you need the time to heal, you also need to take steps, big or small, every single day toward healing. Holding yourself in a place of ‘what if’ or living in the past will only prolong your pain.

3)      Seek help. If you need someone to talk to, a counsellor, or even joining a group that will offer the healing support you need, then do it. However, make sure the group’s purpose is to heal and move forward, and not linger in pain and longing.

4)      There is always divine timing involved when a soul transitions. Consider that maybe, just maybe, it's always our individual choice, whether consciously or unconsciously, when we want to leave this earthly plane. (For further information on this, I recommend Anita Moorjani’s book “Dying to be Me.”)

5)      Understand that your lover’s physical body is the only thing that has died. We are all energy, and energy cannot be destroyed. Their energy still remains, and always will be. They are limitless, pure positive energy with no constraints.

Remember: Our loved ones are always with us. They are in the pink sunrise and in an orange sunset. They are a rainy day and a starry night. They are an October wind that whispers through the trees and they are the quiet on a peaceful summer morning. They are the gentle touch on your hand and the soft kiss on your cheek.

When you begin to understand this, you will realize that your heart will go on.

Namaste. 

PS: Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Find out how at Prairiegirlpress.spreadshirt.ca .

Healing the Past

The past likes to take a hold of us and make us relive it, in all its glory, in our minds and hearts. If it's a good memory, then we are golden. We love every minute of it because we can get into a good place while reminiscing, making our hearts burst with happiness and joy.

Then, there are things from the past that we regret, that we wish we could change. We relive those memories with remorse, beating ourselves up time and again.
Why didn't I do what I should have done? 
Why did I say that? 
Why was I so stupid?

There is this constant dialogue, usually on a daily basis, about how we could have done something differently; how we could have not hurt that person. Or, why did we waste so much time on trying to impress someone, make someone happy, when it ended badly? So many regrets of things we cannot change.

What burden have you been carrying for a long time? Has it served you? Has it helped you at all? If you have been hanging onto a past burden, and it has not propelled you forward allowing you to live happily and joyfully, then it is time to let it go. Adversity should only be a small portion of our brilliant lives. We should acknowledge the contrast as an opportunity for more growth, not as an excuse to beat ourselves up for the rest of our lives.

You can't change the past. The events that occurred have already happened. You can wish them undone, but it will always be. However, you can heal the past:

1) Send love to those you feel you've hurt. No need for excuses. Just send love.
2) Send love to the situation.
3) Realize in every moment you are making yourself better and better. The contrasting experience has made you more aware of what you truly want.
4) Send love and forgiveness to yourself. No matter what has happened, you need to forgive and love yourself.
5) Realize that you did what you could with the knowledge and resources you had in that moment. We are born perfectly imperfect. We are here to grow and experience. And we will continue to grow and experience the rest of our lives. Enjoy it!
5) Look forward and take the next step. Don't look back; you aren't going that way.

Remember, what has happened in the past has made you stronger, has given you clarity, and has made you an even better person than you have ever been. Thank the past for coming along and giving you the things you have experienced.

Most importantly, thank yourself for gaining the clarity you needed to help you take the next step to where you want to go.

Just like Bagger Vance said in the Legend of Bagger Vance, "You've been carrying this burden long enough. Time to go on.... lay it down."

Lay down your burdens and keep moving forward, Beautiful Souls!

Namaste. 

Stop Struggling!

I’ve been seeing a lot of quotes lately that indicate that, if there is no resistance on your journey, then you are making it too easy. If you experience some sort of struggle in whatever you are journeying towards, (career, relationship, weight loss…etc.) then there is increased worth in it.

Here are 6 words I want you to remember throughout life: There is no value in struggle. 

 If you are experiencing resistance/struggle, it’s because you are not aligned to your desire and you have decided to paddle upstream. Life is unfolding before you in the most beautiful way possible, and you have decided to buck your own current because you don’t believe the Universe can give you something better than what you have been getting. 

Instead, we muck around thinking that pointing our boat upstream is how we get what we desire. You know that saying: Go with the flow…that’s what life is supposed to be like. You know that song, Row, Row, Row Your Boat (gently down the stream)....you get the picture. 

An acquaintance of mine said this to me recently: “We project human failings and shortcomings onto the Universe, and then expect it to faff (his word) around and let us down in the same way that humans can do. Change it all with the belief I TRUST GOD/UNIVERSE TO SORT IT ALL OUT.” 

Certainly, there will be contrast on our journey, but this helps us to expand even more. The point is not to wallow in the contrast because that’s when you continue to get more of the unwanted. Realize and know that you want something better than what you are getting and turn toward that. Realize and know that you deserve something better than what you are getting and turn toward that! Become vibrationally aligned with what you want, keeping in mind it may not come in the physical form that you envision; it will be even better! 

It doesn’t mean that what you are doing won’t have effort involved. Of course it will! Just make it 'enjoyable effort'. Get aligned with it and make it fun. If it’s causing you pain or sadness, you’re not aligned with your desire. 

Dan Millman said: “Pain is a relatively objective, physical phenomenon; suffering is our psychological resistance to what happens. Events may create physical pain, but they do not in themselves create suffering. Resistance creates suffering. Stress happens when your mind resists what is... The only problem in your life is your mind's resistance to life as it unfolds.”

I couldn’t agree more! 

Namaste!

Healing Your Heart

The ending of a relationship is, quite possibly, one of the crappiest things to experience. All of that time and emotion and effort put into the relationship to make it tick.... done... like yesterday's dinner. We give all of our heart and soul, and strip ourselves bare, fully opening up to the other person, hoping and trusting that they will do the same.

We create this connection with this special person with high hopes that it will last a lifetime....but it doesn't.
No wonder we have a tough time moving on!

So, what can the broken-hearted do to heal their beautiful heart?

• First off, know that the pain is not going to go away instantaneously. It's going to take time to heal. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the love you need. We don't always give ourselves the love and affection that we need to mend our hearts. Be mindful that this is an important step in healing.  
• Understand that, because the relationship ended, it does not mean you are a failure. We are all constantly growing and evolving, and sometimes we grow apart from each other. It's part of life.
•  Take these relationship experiences to help you understand what you truly want in the next relationship. The more you know what you don't want, the more you know what you do want. 
• It's okay to mourn the end of the relationship. Sometimes we feel that it’s ‘wrong’ to cry over someone, especially if they have been unkind to us. Understand that you are making a major change in your life. Take the time to honour yourself, and give yourself credit for making a decision to make a change for the better.
• Talk to people who will support you and give you the space you need. Do not be around others who will try to undermine your decision. You are making this decision for a reason, and only you can make that decision. 
• Find the right transition period to move from healing to moving forward. Sometimes, we get so stuck in the sadness that we hang out there for longer than we should. Although, you are the only one who knows what you need, please be honest with yourself. Are you doing everything possible to heal, or are you lingering in the past? There is a large, limitless world waiting for you to discover.
• Finally, meditate.  Meditation can bring clarity, peace, and healing into every area of your life. Check out this Ted Talk on meditation. 

Namaste.