Sometimes, we become so enamoured with wanting to have someone in our lives
that it often leads us away from the real reason behind wanting a
relationship.
In some cases, the love is so intense and so real that we can't put it
into a context that we can understand because we haven't felt that kind of love
before. So, we run away from it, not believing something can be that real and
lovely.
Someone gave me an analogy of why someone would run away from a deep love and
choose comfort: He said that it's like collecting stamps and you put those
stamps in one book and you only use that one book. Suddenly, someone comes
along and gives you another book and you don't know what to do with it. You
can't understand it because you've only used that one book.
In the context of love, we can become accustomed to that one type of love, and
that's all we've been able to understand. It's comfortable and safe. There's
nothing that needs to be understood because it can be put into a context that
makes sense. It can be put into that one familiar book.
Then, a different love comes along. This love is a much deeper love where the
feelings are stronger--more than what you have felt before. You have nothing to
relate it to because you haven't felt like this before. It's new territory.
Instead of taking a leap to experience something that you know is deeper, you
retreat back to the old book or the old type of love. It's not new nor
different, but at least you can put it into a context you understand, and you
feel safe. When I say 'safe', I don't mean the kind where you'll be protected,
but in the way of 'if I don't take a chance then I won't fail.'
We see this all of the time where couples aren't really happy, but they
stay because it's comfortable. You stick with it because the alternative would
mean stepping outside of your comfort zone for something deeper, something more
loving than you have ever felt before.
This is the death of a well-lived life--choosing mediocre over
extraordinary. This is the difference between love and comfort. (Don't
confuse this with instant infatuation, because that's a completely different
thing and a completely different blog topic.)
This isn't to say that people shouldn't work at a relationship and
should give up as soon as it becomes less than satisfactory. What this is about
is knowing when there's no chemistry and no attraction in a relationship, and
choosing safety and comfort over deep love.
The fact is, when a deeper love comes along, and you question it's
validity, just remember that you had asked for it at a vibrational level. You
had asked the universe to bring you something deeper, more profound, and
something that you have never felt before. And, therefore, you received it.
Resisting it means you are declining a true manifestation of your desire.
Resisting means you are sabotaging yourself.
“A life lived in fear... is a life half-lived.”
― Baz Luhrmann
