I'm not sure if you've seen Bridget Jones' Diary, but near the end of the movie when Daniel Cleaver is lying in the street, after Mark Darcy hands him his ass, he says to Bridget Jones,
"Come on Bridget, we belong together - you, me, poor little skirt. If I can't make it with you, then I can't make it with anyone."
After a few seconds of pondering, and realizing that Daniel will never give her what she needs, she says, "That's not a good enough offer for me."
This is probably one of the most revelatory moments in the entire movie, not only for Bridget, but for others who have been in Bridget's shoes.
We go through life stuck in waiting mode. We wait for our love interest to realize that they truly love us and can't live without us. We wait for that person to see our perfection and our worthiness, hoping that they will realize we are the best thing ever to come into their lives. We stay stuck waiting and hoping that this other person, the one who pushes us away as fast as they pull us into their lives, will realize how much they need us, validating who we are, not realizing that they are, most likely, very much a 'Daniel Cleaver'.
If you are experiencing uncertainty in your love life with regards to another person, ask yourself the following:
- Why am I allowing this?
- Why am I hanging around when I'm not getting what I need or want?
Saying you are sticking around because you 'really love someone and it's really good when we are together' is great, but what about the in between parts? Let me explain: Loving someone is truly amazing. Being 'good' together when you are 'actually together' is also lovely. But, what is going on during those times of uncertainty? Relationships are partnerships where there is no question where you stand with the other person. If you are always playing scenarios in your mind about why he/she hasn't called/texted yet, or racking your brain about what you said or did that pushed that person away, then you aren't getting what you want and need from this relationship.
Ask yourself, dear friends, "Is this a good enough offer for me?"
Bridget Jones came to the point where she wasn't willing to settle with someone who was unsure about her. She wanted the certainty. She wanted someone to love and respect her as much as she could give love and respect back. She wanted more.
You deserve more.