Monday, 27 October 2014

Grace and Grieving

The loss of a lover is devastating, especially when you least expect it. Constantly questioning the 'why' of it, and the 'what ifs' will only leave you more confused.

You may question if you’ll ever move on or if you will ever experience any relief from the seemingly unbearable pain in your heart. Unfortunately, relief and healing do not come all at once; it’s a one foot in front of the other type of progression. In one minute, you will be fine, and in the next, you will be sucker punched by grief as it rips your heart out.

So, how do you move on when your loved one transitions to the non-physical?

1)      Take your time with healing. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s time to move on; only you can decide that. They do not know what you are going through, and everyone has their own pace. First and foremost, be gentle and loving with yourself.

2)      Make progress. Just like you need the time to heal, you also need to take steps, big or small, every single day toward healing. Holding yourself in a place of ‘what if’ or living in the past will only prolong your pain.

3)      Seek help. If you need someone to talk to, a counsellor, or even joining a group that will offer the healing support you need, then do it. However, make sure the group’s purpose is to heal and move forward, and not linger in pain and longing.

4)      There is always divine timing involved when a soul transitions. Consider that maybe, just maybe, it's always our individual choice, whether consciously or unconsciously, when we want to leave this earthly plane. (For further information on this, I recommend Anita Moorjani’s book “Dying to be Me.”)

5)      Understand that your lover’s physical body is the only thing that has died. We are all energy, and energy cannot be destroyed. Their energy still remains, and always will be. They are limitless, pure positive energy with no constraints.

Remember: Our loved ones are always with us. They are in the pink sunrise and in an orange sunset. They are a rainy day and a starry night. They are an October wind that whispers through the trees and they are the quiet on a peaceful summer morning. They are the gentle touch on your hand and the soft kiss on your cheek.

When you begin to understand this, you will realize that your heart will go on.


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Monday, 20 October 2014

One True Love

Most of us go through our lives searching for that elusive true love. We search for that person that will create ease, joy, and happiness in our lives, because true love never hurts. Right?

Let's look at it from a different perspective: You are hedging your bets on one person to be 'it'. To be the coffee to your cream. The jam to your peanut butter.

And, yes, you should definitely have that! There is nothing like two people fitting like a glove.
Putting all cliches aside, keep in mind that there are several people that will come and go in your life that will seem like true love (see The Myth of the One blog post). Because we are constantly changing and evolving, the relationship that happened in your 20s may not be applicable in your 40s.

However, your true love relationship isn't found 'out there'.
You actually know your true love already.
YOU are your one true love. Always have and always will be.

Before deciding to write this blog post off, consider this:
You are going to be with yourself for the rest of your life. No one else. Just you.

You are the one that needs to treat yourself with kindness, love, respect, and care. You have to treat yourself like a best friend; like a beautiful lover.

When you find out that your true love is the one that resides within, your heart will expand even more, opening yourself up to a deep soul connection with another person who is ready to expand further with you.

Much love to you, lovely souls!


Monday, 6 October 2014

Getting What You Want

Here's a question: Why aren't you getting what you want?

It’s because your focus is off. Couple that with not believing that you can have what you want, and also your negative emotions, and suddenly, you are creating things you don't want.

If you could pay attention to a large portion of your thoughts and feelings throughout the day (I know, there are at least 60000 thoughts per day, so don’t stress yourself out if you don’t catch every single one of them.), you would begin to see things change.

What we think about we bring about. While many people may dispute that this isn’t the case at all, and that they’ve been thinking positively most of the time.... like, for about a week.... what it comes down to is your vibration, the one that you've been carrying around for a very long time. You are used to it, and you don't even realize the frequency you are giving off because it is a part of you, and it will be a part of you until you decide to change it.

But, it takes time. Think of it as a muscle. When you go to the gym to work out, you aren’t going to see results in only 10 reps of arm curls or 20 squats, are you? No. It takes time to build muscle mass. But, if you go to the gym 3 times per week and consistently do your workout, you will start to see the muscles becoming more defined. 

Apply this analogy to your thinking. Your thoughts are just that...thoughts. They hold no real weight except for the importance that you give them.

Here's the disclaimer: thoughts and emotions can become things. You could be thinking a positive thought right now, but, if you are still feeling negatively, you won’t get anywhere.

Thoughts and emotion go hand in hand. If your thought process is one of seeing the outcome you want, but your feelings are negative, you won’t get what you truly desire. You'll just keep going in circles, recreating the same thing.  Oh, sure, you may experience some up swings, but the peaks and dips will be huge.

What you want is a smoother ride with the occasional bump in the road. Why do you want the bump in the road? That’s the contrast. That’s where you expand even further. If you were always on a smooth road, you would never expand further from where you are. You would never grow. You would stay the same. 

These bumps of contrast are there for you to shift your awareness. They are the wake up call for you to realize, with great clarity, of what you do not want. Once you feel that contrast, you must shift your perception to what you truly want.

If you keep focusing on the bump, you will create more bumps and bigger dips and peaks. After awhile, it becomes really annoying. You feel like you are on a crazy amusement park ride with no way of getting off.

Think the good thoughts, beautiful friends! Those are the important ones.