Grace and Grieving

The loss of a lover is devastating, especially when you least expect it. Constantly questioning the 'why' of it, and the 'what ifs' will only leave you more confused.

You may question if you’ll ever move on or if you will ever experience any relief from the seemingly unbearable pain in your heart. Unfortunately, relief and healing do not come all at once; it’s a one foot in front of the other type of progression. In one minute, you will be fine, and in the next, you will be sucker punched by grief as it rips your heart out.

So, how do you move on when your loved one transitions to the non-physical?

1)      Take your time with healing. Don’t let anyone tell you that it’s time to move on; only you can decide that. They do not know what you are going through, and everyone has their own pace. First and foremost, be gentle and loving with yourself.

2)      Make progress. Just like you need the time to heal, you also need to take steps, big or small, every single day toward healing. Holding yourself in a place of ‘what if’ or living in the past will only prolong your pain.

3)      Seek help. If you need someone to talk to, a counsellor, or even joining a group that will offer the healing support you need, then do it. However, make sure the group’s purpose is to heal and move forward, and not linger in pain and longing.

4)      There is always divine timing involved when a soul transitions. Consider that maybe, just maybe, it's always our individual choice, whether consciously or unconsciously, when we want to leave this earthly plane. (For further information on this, I recommend Anita Moorjani’s book “Dying to be Me.”)

5)      Understand that your lover’s physical body is the only thing that has died. We are all energy, and energy cannot be destroyed. Their energy still remains, and always will be. They are limitless, pure positive energy with no constraints.

Remember: Our loved ones are always with us. They are in the pink sunrise and in an orange sunset. They are a rainy day and a starry night. They are an October wind that whispers through the trees and they are the quiet on a peaceful summer morning. They are the gentle touch on your hand and the soft kiss on your cheek.

When you begin to understand this, you will realize that your heart will go on.

Namaste. 

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