I have experienced pain and heartbreak more times than I care to count. Someone I loved deeply died on Valentine's Day, and, let me tell you, that really, really sucks. Every Valentine's Day, I get to celebrate with this memory--always and forever. I could continue being sad on this day while others around me fall in love...or, I could move forward, creating something new in my life.
I have chosen to move forward.
Even though traumatic things are really crappy to experience, I still believe in love. I still want to share myself fully with another. Even though my traumatic experience caused great pain and sadness to the point I thought my heart was ripped from my chest, it was also a great gift: It showed me how to fully love and be loved. It showed me that trying for something can lead to amazing things.
When I meet someone who has experienced hurt and loss but refuses to move on, I wonder why wouldn't you move forward? What is the benefit to hanging on to the past? While it's true that you are taking another chance at getting hurt, that it might not work out, that you might experience something traumatic, the questions is, will you be okay without ever knowing if it could be wonderful because you didn't try?
When things are going well in a relationship, when you are expanding and growing together, and then suddenly one person pulls back, it's because the larger part of that person (their higher consciousness) expanded and the physical part of them chose not to go. They became afraid and they chose not to take the leap to where the larger part of themselves was standing. The larger part of themselves was 'over there' drinking champagne, celebrating, and enjoying life, while the physical part of themselves was still holding themselves back, unhappy and discontent.
When things are going well and you know the next step will leap you forward to a place that is positive and beautiful, and you feel negative emotion about it, it's because you chose not to expand. You are holding yourself back because you are afraid of possibly experiencing hurt. It's protection, but it also doesn't move you forward.
Take the time to understand what is really going on when you hold back--when you know something great is right there, but you choose not to experience it. Maybe it's time for you to take that small step toward it.
One small step may be all you need to discover that you will be immersed in the warm embrace of something truly amazing.
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