Sunday, 23 November 2014

The False Self

You may have heard the saying that we can't define ourselves by our past because we aren't that person anymore.

Unfortunately, we love to be labelled by past situations and events as if they are the things that give us our identity. We hold onto them so tightly, believing that we will become nothing if we lose this part of ourselves. This is our false self. This is the ego that puts on a mask and prances around pretending to be us, only for us to discover much later that the ego could never be who we truly are.

Cynthia Bourgeault said, “Beginning in infancy (or even before) each of us, in response to perceived threats to our well-being, develops a false self: a set of protective behaviours driven at root by a sense of need and lack. The essence of the false self is driven, addictive energy, consisting of tremendous emotional investment in compensatory "emotional programs for happiness," as Keating calls them."

The ego loves to hold onto outworn beliefs because it feels the need to be validated. There is a fear of letting go of our past because we do not want to lose ourselves in the process lest we disappear into oblivion. We have become so comfortably acquainted to that part of ourselves that, even though it no longer works for us, we accept it as who we are, arguing that 'you can't teach an old dog new tricks.'

When we start to experience ourselves by what we want to be, how we want to act, who we want to be, rather than by the false self created by the ego, then that is when things begin to shift.

If we continue to define our lives by our situations, life events, and illnesses, then we will continue to have the same experiences, and change will not come.

Dr. Joe Dispenza says the ego is useful for things like determining fight or flight, and for measuring safety or danger. When the ego starts holding you back, making you feel rotten about yourself, then you have a serious problem on your hands.

Marianne Williamson said, "We are either walking toward love or we are walking toward fear." Which one are you walking toward? Are you fearful all of the time? Then you are letting ego have its way with you. Don't let the ego hold you hostage. Love is the only thing that is real.

Dear beautiful souls, reach for something better because you ARE already something better.


PS: Soul Love Awakening supports worldwide charities. Discover how at .

Monday, 10 November 2014

What the Heart Wants

Emily Dickinson said,  “The heart wants what it wants- or it does not care.” 

This is an amazing quote, but highly misunderstood. This quote isn't about the heart only wanting one person--and no one else will do. The heart works on emotion, and on energy, so what the heart wants is the feeling. The heart wants the love. The heart wants to feel and experience that special connection. It wants to expand, because there is no greater feeling than love. Even the word 'love' is beautiful to say and beautiful to look at.

When we feel love, we feel that rush of dopamine, serotonin, and adrenalin. These are the fun chemicals that give our body a natural high. All of these get sent throughout our bodies, which makes us grow attached to that feeling, and connect it with a particular person. But it's not about that specific person that we want, but how they made us feel. 

If you are holding out for one person, hoping that they will come around and see how wonderful you are because you believe that’s what the heart wants...think again. Your heart wants to give you that rush, to please you. To get you into alignment.

This is why you should never get attached to the idea of 'the one' or a 'one true love'. Find someone who is your best friend and lover; someone who respects and loves you. Find someone who you feel a deep, beautiful love with, because, when you do, you will have discovered what the heart truly wants.  

Give yourselves amazing love, beautiful people, and you will attract the same. 

Monday, 3 November 2014

You Can't Put Whipped Cream on Top of Crap....

Most of us can attest to being in a relationship where things aren't going so well; where things seem to be crumbling all around us. 

You are lost and don't know what to do as you desperately try to put the pieces back together; trying to hold everything up with tape or glue, or whatever adhesive you have on hand, while you make only surface adjustments. 

Basically, you are putting whipped cream on top of crap and calling it a sundae, even though it'll still taste like crap. 

A relationship built on a rocky foundation is like being lost at sea, floating in a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean. The boat springs a leak, and you put one finger in the hole to stop the water from flowing in, only to discover another hole has appeared. You can continue to do this if you like, but it's not going to give you a long term solution. The boat will eventually sink.

So, what is the answer to building a strong foundation from day one of your relationship?

Apply the following (to yourself and to your lover): 
  • Love
  • Respect
  • Trust
  • Integrity
  • Appreciation
  • Loyalty
  • Friendship
This is a reciprocal thing based on giving and receiving from both parties. If there is no flow of the above, if the above does not exist, then the foundation will crumble. 

How to build a weak foundation: 
  • Base the relationship solely on physical attraction or sex.
  • Base the relationship on superficial/material things (like what they do for a living, money, where they live, what they drive, or the type of connections they can provide) 
  • Do not love yourself enough first.
  • Have very little in common with the other person. 
  • Begin a relationship because you are lonely.
  • Do not deal with your insecurities first.
  • You are looking for validation of your worth and lovability.

Enter into a new relationship with confidence, security, love, and appreciation for yourself first, because when you are able to give these key ingredients to yourself, you will be able to give them to another. However, if you are not receiving these things in return, then the relationship is not worth the effort. Love yourself enough to know this and to move on. 

Remember, you are worth the best that the world has to offer!

Much love to you!