The Past Has No Power

Photo Credit: Tamara Hanson

Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life said, “We are products of our past, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.”

We tend to trap ourselves in the past hoping that if we replay it over and over, the outcome will change. 

But, it doesn’t.

We then proceed to chastise ourselves for making the decisions that we made, and continue to beat ourselves up, never resolving anything. It doesn’t matter what it is: it could be choosing a relationship that ended in heartbreak, or headache; or regret over the wasted years with the wrong person, and, if only we could get back that wasted time. If only time travel was possible!  

They say hindsight is always 20/20. If only we knew then what we know now, things would be different. Better choices would have been made. Happier choices.  

Or, maybe, we have been the person doing the mistreating and disrespecting, and the memory of this plays over and over in our minds. No one really means to hurt another; it usually means we are wounded ourselves.

Whatever it is, we feel replaying the past is helpful. But, it isn’t.

If you have to look back at the past, at least do it with loving eyes. You were making choices based on what you knew at the time and where you were in your life. Know that the past is in the past and has no power in the present…. unless you give it power. If you hurt someone, send them light and love. If someone hurt you, send them light and love. And then send light and love to yourself. Realize that the past doesn’t dictate the future, and these past events happen to offer us contrast. The more we know what we don’t want, the more we know what we do want. These are the lovely moments of growth.  

Past events should evolve us into a better person, and help us to become clearer at what we want in relationships and out of life. These life moments are where we begin to respect and love ourselves more.

An excellent article you might want to read is called Bargaining With Your Past Creates Regret in the Present by Suzanne Lachmann.

“People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future.”

― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters